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Don’t Save Money Out of Anxiety 150 150 admin

Don’t Save Money Out of Anxiety

This is an excerpt from Happy Money that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Don’t Save Money Out of Anxiety

Many people save money because they are afraid of the future.  They may get sick or lose their jobs, so they save for a rainy day.   That is why people want to save: in case something bad happens.

But if you save money out of anxiety or fear, you will just feed more fear and anxiety.  More blocks to the flow of money.

The side effect is that no matter how much you save, anxiety around money will not disappear.  If you are broke, you may think you need to save enough money for a week to feel at ease about money. But if you have a weeks worth of savings, you will feel like you need money for a month.

… So your anxiety never disappears.  Why?  It is not related to money at all.  It is anxiety and fear deeply rooted in your psychology.

There are lots of good quotes in this book, but I pulled this one out because it made me stop in my tracks because this is how I relate to savings. This makes sense from a law of attraction stand point.  Whatever you think and feel most of the time is what you will attract to you.  If you think in the way quoted above, you are on the same vibe as anxiety and fear, so you must continue to experience anxiety and fear as it relates to the possession of money.

 

Social Expansion Online vs Offline 150 150 admin

Social Expansion Online vs Offline

There are many differences is connecting with people online vs offline, but one of the ways they are the same is you have to put yourself out there online and/or offline to expand your social circle.

Putting yourself out there…your ideas…your creations…your voice…your face…your presence out there is where they overlap.

Along the same lines, giving away value for free seems to work well in both online and offline such as volunteering, or giving constructive feedback to those who are willing to listen.  Online one form of giving away value for free is a lead magnet.  Offline in day-to-day life, it’s not called a lead magnet, but the concept is eerily similar.  See this post for more on the subject!

I see starting a business and getting it off the ground the same way – online and offline.  Many times, marketing is the issue both online and offline.  How much are you putting yourself out there online and offline?

Putting yourself out there is the big overlap between social expansion offline and social expansion online!

Feel The Embarrassment to Help 150 150 admin

Feel The Embarrassment to Help

Embarrassment is commonly looked at as something to be avoided. When you share embarrassing stories, there’s a possibility people can take those stories and keep them and have a “one up” on you.  I’ve seen people be vulnerable enough to share their embarrassing stories, only to have someone else bring their embarrassing story back up to bring them down a notch.  This is cheap.  It’s tacky.  And what that person who brings it back up doesn’t realize is how tacky and cheap they look doing it.  It says more about them (the person that uses it to bring them down).

When I started sharing my story in my 12-step program, it made me not care so much about situations like the one mentioned above or anything else negative that can come from being embarrassed or sharing embarrassing stories.  I saw the meaning in my embarrassment when people would connect with me after I shared, and call me on the phone. I saw how it changed the people around me for the good.  If nothing else, it raised awareness. My sponsor would tell me “just remember…it’s not about you”.  It was about a person I could help.  I saw the importance of helping just one person.  That person can create some huge ripples…and you never know who it will be.

Share your failures.  Share the things that don’t put you in such a great light.  Share your embarrassing stories.  Be willing to be publicly embarrassed.  You’ll be surprised at the people who are watching to learn and grow and raise their awareness.  I think you’ll also be surprised at the different ways it can raise you up as well.

Does High Quantity Lessen Quality with Creative Work? 150 150 admin

Does High Quantity Lessen Quality with Creative Work?

A concern with a lot of quantity with creative work is…will the quality go down?  I saw this question posed by someone at the beginning of Steve Pavlina’s 365-day blogging challenge.  Since I’m participating as well, I actually wondered the same thing.

I’ve experienced quite the opposite in this 365-day blogging challenge.  I’m really proud of some articles that I’ve written, but I know they wouldn’t have happened without all the other articles I’ve written that I roll my eyes at.  It’s as if quality comes from quantity.   You have to get in the reps to realize the quality and see the results.

It reminds of something I read today about song writing, but one of my favorite song writers, John Mayer.

On the subject of writing good songs, John Mayer urges new writers not to worry too much about whether a song is good or bad when they are writing it. “Just write it,” he says. “The rule is: write bad songs, but write ’em. If you start writing bad songs, you start writing better songs, and then you start getting really good.

“If you try to get into the building on the twelfth floor, you’ll never make it. You have to get in the basement floor and work up from there.”

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle 150 150 admin

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle

I never thought about expanding my social circle in terms of one friend at a time.  I spent much of my time alone, but after that, I asked “what world can I get into?”, and that was a lot more effective in making friends.  As in…what world do I want to learn about?  That way I can possibly connect with many people who could be friends.  If I want to get into dancing, there’s probably a lot of dancers I could have as friends if I start going to the tutorials, lessons, dance sessions, performances, etc.

What about the world of music?  Think about the friends you could make there.  You could have pianists, singers, piano teachers, drummers, audio tech guys/gals, Tamborine players..who knows!

The possibilities are endless.  This is how I think about social circles now – how will I dive into my interests and meet like-minded people so we can talk about our common interests and keep getting better…and attracting more people into these worlds.  I find the deeper I can get into a certain world, and the more I can commit…the better things get.  This comes from caring!  and when ya genuinely care…you get the deeper connections.

Keep doing this and you have friends in different worlds and there can be some overlap…or a lot of overlap depending on the worlds.

Pushing Past Your Limit 150 150 admin

Pushing Past Your Limit

I remember in high school I wanted to try football.  I did well academically, but always wanted to test myself to see if I could have some semblance of athleticism in a bigger way than basketball in nearby parks.  So I took put football on my high school schedule.  It was off-season football, so it was mostly training for the upcoming season.

I sucked at the beginning.  Badly.  Struggled through most of their routine exercises, and lost all competitions.  I got hella embarrassed to the point where I started coming after school to practice and get help.

I remember having 1 completely crazy coach during that time that stood out.  He’d say some pretty ruthless things to people, and would often get a lot of pushback and backlash for what came out of his mouth.

One day, we went out to find out our lap times – how fast we could run one lap around the track which was a quarter mile.  When it was my turn, I might have gone about half way when I felt I couldn’t keep running, so I started walking.  Keep in mind I genuinely felt so tired, I didn’t think I could run anymore….until…

I see him with a super angry face, marching over to me.  He then proceeds to scream in my ear.  I was feeling so embarrassed.  I don’t know what he said…but I do remember running at that very instant again.

It was a pretty out-of-body experience.  Where did this energy come from to run?  I didn’t think I had anymore left in the tank, but apparently I did?  I remember running in a very surreal way…thinking “I’m not supposed to be doing this…but I am”.

I’ll never forget that day, because it was where I really felt like I could push past my limit.  All it took was a little embarrassment.  Who am I kidding?  It took a lot of damn embarrassment.

Pushing Past Your Limits 

Is there a limit you feel you have?  How can you enlist help to push past it?  Maybe you don’t need a crazy coach (or maybe you do?) but is there any way you can get a coach or a mentor to hold your feet to the fire?

You feel differently about yourself after you push past a limit you had in your mind.  It changes how you view yourself, and it’s a damn good feeling.

Scared Shitless 150 150 admin

Scared Shitless

Some of the most amazing memories can happen when you’re willing to be scared shitless…when you have a good hunch that facing something you’re scared of will benefit you, but you just have to face that fear.

What does help is to stay in the moment as much as possible.  You can’t feel fear if you’re here now because the fear and anxiety is stemming from your thoughts of the future.

I hate that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling, but I can’t help but notice how effective it is and the results that come after it.

I like open mics.  It’s crazy to walk in and…no one knows you, but after you perform the energy is different.  It’s so much warmer – IF YOU’RE WARM.  If you can make the audience feel good with not only a good performance, but good feelings yourself because they translate to the audience.

Putting yourself out there in any capacity could elicit this scared shitless feeling.  If you’re a professional athlete you’re putting your body out there.  If you’re a musician, you’re putting your performance or your music out there.  If you’re a writer, you’re putting your writing out there.  The more you face this, the more you get used to it though.

By putting yourself out there, you run the risk of judgement, unfair criticism, not being understood, etc.  Do it anyway.  You never know who could be impacted and how they can be impacted by you facing that fear of putting your thoughts/ideas/experience out there.

Anyway by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

New Site Design 150 150 admin

New Site Design

There’s still a few minor adjustments that need to me made, but I’ve installed a new WordPress theme – Maiden.

I like the functionality of it, and I really love all the different types of customization I can do, from the animations, to page setup and space and so much more.  There’s pretty much customization at every turn.

I feel like it’s a little sleeker, more professional and easier to navigate.

Also, as requested, there is a like button on each post and the ability to comment.

I’ve been told to add more “me” in it, and so still some things to work on, but I feel it’s making great progress!

My previous theme was very outdated, and updating it has brought me into the present and allowed me to become aware of all the different options there are now.  I’m much happier with the site, and much happier interacting with it knowing it’s much much closer to what I envisioned.