Decentralized Everything 150 150 admin

Decentralized Everything

There was a time where everything was very centralized. It all came from one place. Money, media and news, information, laws, etc. They all came from a few sources. Then the internet came along and fucked that shit all up.

Youtube has instant media now. People can live stream things that are happening in REAL TIME. People can connect with others to find out information in a way they never could before or just watch a stream of Youtube videos on the subject and run it through their own discernment to find TRUE information.

Value is so subjective, and we can really explore the possibility space as to what’s valuable for other people. Like to watch YouTube videos? You watching YouTube videos is valuable to other people and they will either virtually accompany you in doing so, or watch a video of you reacting to another video. There’s a whole space of reaction channels on YouTube. For people with NO skills, the documentation of their experiments and explorations are valuable. People can follow your journey along in real time. You eating food is valuable to people.

P2P services are here now. You can rent or rent out pretty much everything you own or that someone else owns if it’s available to be rented.

Decentralized coaching? Decentralized Innovation and Funding for the Innovation? Decentralized workshops? Cryptocurrency has a space where there’s DeFi (decentralized finance!).

I’m pretty damn excited about the way things are shaping up.

Lessons from Meditation / Visualization 150 150 admin

Lessons from Meditation / Visualization

I’ve been doing almost a month of meditation/visualization combined. I’ve done this work before, but my visions were much smaller. Here are some things I’ve noticed usually after 30 days.

  • Life moves faster, and so it’s important to remain grounded amongst the chaos.
  • Relevant, specific, synchronistic information flies in fast. I’ve seen it come in through many directions – Youtube videos, conversations, coaching calls, a note on the ground, the first thing that plays on the radio when you turn it on (these have all happened to me). Pay attention to even the littlest things so you don’t miss out.
  • Welcome the discomfort, doubts, anxiety, confusion, frustration. New things will come. Welcome all that shows up, and don’t resist it. It will make the process flow a lot smoother. Eventually, you will get to a point where you can be ok with the beautiful range of emotions and dynamics life has to offer.
  • You begin to feel like you’re actually in your visions, so when you come out of your visualization session – you have a heightened awareness of yourself, others and reality. You’re more aware of the specific times doubts and fears are causing your own hesitation and avoidance. You’re more aware of your emotions and what’s causing them. You’re more aware of how your eating is affecting your mood/emotions (hopefully!). You’re more aware of when your emotions change. You’re more aware of what’s around you. You’re aware of the small decisions you’re making to either bring aligned things in. You’re more aware of the energy it’s draining to tolerate misalignments.
  • Even if you’ve been aware of all of the above, misalignments start to irritate you more than usual…a lot more. It becomes mandatory to create and enforce boundaries to that which is misaligned. You can feel it.
  • Trust and believe there will be a process that will show up. You might not even realize it’s a process until after you’ve gone through it. You have to trust and be willing to go step by step.
  • If you dare to dream big here, be aware of validation seeking – where you’re trying to prove to other people your vision can be real. Less defense, more surrender. Share your vision with someone who is aligned with it and could support it and make it happen…or at least move you to the next step. I find it best to share it with someone who’s already been down the exact (or very similar) path and come out the other side. They’ll do a much better job of showing you how that looks on earth for real and grounding what feels like a big dream in the sky. I’ve also seen sharing it with a supportive audience work too. They can point you to the person (or group of people) that have been through the process.
Starting Conversations for Introverts 150 150 admin

Starting Conversations for Introverts

So, when I (an introvert) was rooming with my friend (an extrovert), I was able to see things he did that I didn’t do. I had the luxury of learning a lot just by sitting back and watching what he would say and how he would say it and how others would respond.

One huge thing I noticed was he always made the first move in everything…like he was thinking one step ahead all the time.  I, at the time, was always reactive.

With people, this meant he would call past friends out of the blue to reconnect (He called me which is how we reconnected).  He would be the first to suggest something for the group to do.  He would initiate conversations with strangers.  When people can sense that you’re coming from a genuine place, they’re more apt to let their guard down.  And since most of his approaches were genuine, I saw the majority of these conversations flow smoothly.

You can look at this from a “technique” point of view.  If you search you’ll probably find good “openers” or some introductory phrases to use.  What this will do is send you right back to your head when you’re actually starting conversations with people.  That’s the last place you want to come from.

Remember I said I had the luxury of watching my friend do all these approaches?  From the outside looking in, it was like watching someone create their own world.  I started to realize it’s a creative thing.  You get to decide how you want to approach people.  There is no right or wrong way – just approach and be genuine.  More important than what you say is the energy behind it.  Also, more important than what you say, is the fact that you have the courage to say something at all.  To get better at starting conversations, start more conversations and be willing to fail.

You can take this simple skill as far as you want to go.  Trust and believe it can take you far.  What if you learned different languages?  How many more conversations could you start?  How many more options do you have in a world of over 7 billion people if you get good at starting conversations?

What If I’m Scared of Social Situations? 150 150 admin

What If I’m Scared of Social Situations?

If you’re scared of social situations – good.  Oh Hell Yeah!  That could be an invitation to a great place to grow.

You grow by training.  Deliberately feel the fear and keep inviting different social situations to go through.  The fear is at its highest when you feel like you’re jumping into unknown social situations.  When you keep inviting that fear and facing it and welcoming it by going through it over and over, then you’ll get used to jumping in unknown social situations.  It will start to be fun.

The fear is just going to get bigger in your mind if you run from it.  Being social is here to stay, and it’s safe to say that your social life is going to be a huge part of the quality of your life.  You’ll see this approach a lot in self development.  It’s a “feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway” style approach.

Address the Fear

Another side of the coin is to look to address the fear and not try to plow through it.  Give the fear a voice and address it.

There was a period where I was doing cold-approach sales for DirectTV while in different retail stores like Best Buy and Sam’s Club.  There would roughly be about 10% of people interested in our DirectTV pitch, and everyone in that 10% would have some objection to actually pulling the trigger and buying.  It was our responsibility to handle their objections and make the sales process as easy and simple for them as possible – what we called objection handling.  If they told us they needed to check with their spouse first before buying, then we gave them a phone to call that spouse.  If the price of DirectTV was too high for them, we had deals we could offer to them.  If there was a question about DirectTV service we were expected to know EVERYTHING about it so we could explain it to them.

There might just be a good reason you’re scared of a particular social situation.  During this Covid-19 era there have been plenty of legit fears related to social situations.  Many people have ignored that legit fear and attempted to plow through.  Some have avoided any consequences whatsoever.  Other’s weren’t so fortunate.  Those other’s may have gotten sick, died, and/or infected someone else.  We’ve seen the rise of live streaming and Zoom calls as a work around to address these fears and handle those objections as best we can.

Questions to Ask

When you’re jumping into an unknown social situation and feel the fear, ask yourself “Is this a legit fear”?  Do you predict that the outcome will go well?  Is there any way you can prepare to have the best possible outcome?  Is it just a mind-made fear?  Did you weigh the upsides with the downsides?

Your ability to discern whether your fears of social situations are legit is a benefit from training.  The more you train, the more confidence you’ll gain in your ability to approach fears with intelligence.

Asking Busy People for Help 150 150 admin

Asking Busy People for Help

Have you ever felt like you need help from a person who is already inundated with requests? You know this person has a full inbox, but you still need help and you know this particular person has the specific help you need.

Avoid Taking without Giving

When I first started reaching out to people who I knew received many messages, I would get back messages with template responses.  Something along the lines of “Hello Broderick! We’ve received your message, and someone will get back with you shortly!”.  They rarely did, and it had to do with my energy.  I wanted to take, take, take and not give.

What consistently helps me get answers to my questions a lot faster now is helping the person on the other side somehow…some way.  Thinking win-win.

Another way to put it is Law 13 from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power.

Law 13:  When asking for help, appeal to people’s self interest, never to their mercy or gratitude.

Give and Take by Adam Grant is another good book that addresses this.

Put yourself in the other person’s position and think about things from their point of view.  What would be valuable to them?   What do they want or need that you could provide?  Money could be one thing, but you can also look for things that aren’t monetary.

Maybe they have a course or a book and they need feedback.  Maybe they’re already inundated with feedback and they need a way to manage the feedback.  Maybe they need a way to have more free time.  Maybe they need new shoes.  Maybe they need a Covid19-free hug.  How can you be of service to them?  How can you create value for them?  If they have a website, they might mention what they need or want.  Coming from a space of service when I need help has been a much more effective strategy to get the help I need.

Show some commitment if you want mentorship

If your question is a how-to/mentor kind of question, show some type of indicator that you’re committed to actually implementing the advice they’re going to give you.  If they have a bestselling book (or multiple best-selling books), its likely they’re receiving many messages.  Each message answered is a time investment.  Again, put yourself in their shoes and imagine someone comes to you for genuine advice.  How would you feel about giving advice to that person knowing it’s falling on deaf ears and that they will just ignore it?  If you want to increase the likelihood that they’ll invest their time in answering your question, show that you’ve already got the ball rolling in some form or fashion.

When I was into self-publishing and I wanted some advice from bestsellers in my genre on how they gained such visibility in the Amazon Kindle Store.  I emailed 4 authors with best-selling books.  Two didn’t respond.  One had an email assistant respond, and the last author directly responded with the exact answer I needed.  An important part of this story is that I had already published books that just needed more visibility, and I led with that in my message to these authors.  I wanted to show that I’m not some person thinking about doing self-publishing, but that I’ve already got works published.  I’m in field.

Whatever you want, give it

If you’re having a tough time getting help from the specific source you’re looking for, consider releasing your attachment to finding your answer in that direction and consider giving help to someone else.  You want advice or help?  Give advice or help.  That sounds crazy right?  Like one of these crazy counter-intuitive solutions I keep rambling about.

Counterintuitive Solutions 150 150 admin

Counterintuitive Solutions

Over the years I’ve come across many counterintuitive solutions.  These solutions when I seek help from other people who have overcome the same problem and get out of my own thinking or I let go of finding the answer completely and move on to something else and then the answer just shows up.  When I find these answers they hit me like a ton of bricks and leave me stunned…like this ?

Here are the solutions I’ve found.

Weight Loss

I remember wanting to learn how to lose weight and just failing by focusing on weight loss.  Eventually, I just let go of the whole idea of trying to lose weight and I started focusing on health.  That’s when I found out about my food group and cut out sugar and flour and they actually taught me how to eat in a way where I could eat normal foods, was way happier, and kept losing weight in a way that felt effortless.

Intuitively I was overweight, so it made sense to focus on weight loss…that led me astray.  Focusing on health was way more effective and ironically resulted in me losing the most weight I’ve ever lost.

Money and Work

I remember wanting to learn how to earn a lot of money.  I wanted it sooo bad I was willing to take shitty jobs sacrifice everything else, work long hours of overtime.  It didn’t help.  My expenses rose to the level of my earnings and I was living paycheck to paycheck.  Eventually, I decided I would stop chasing money and accept the freedom I had.  It brought me face to face with the question – what would I do if I had all the money in the world.  I would write and work on music, so I really put tons of hours into writing and working on music, and my bank account is as big as it’s ever been.

When I was broke, it made sense to focus on getting a job and earning money.  Writing and sharing with people was my way of volunteering.  It brought about more flow socially and connected me with more people and it was pretty damn rewarding.  More rewarding than any check I ever got from a shitty job, and I think it was all because I didn’t chase money.

Social Circle

In the back of my mind, I would always see people who had big social circle and wonder how it happened for them.  AND…how were people so interested in them.

Eventually, I realized that one great way to attract others is not need others – to be content with yourself.  Do the things you want to do and find interesting.  Follow your own curiosities.  Accomplish the things you want to accomplish.  Have fun.  Stop beating yourself up over the past and learn to be happy with yourself.  Forgive yourself for bad time and money investments.  Practice self care and treat yourself well.  Respect and enforce your boundaries and strive to meet your needs.  That way you relate to others without neediness.  You won’t need anything from others.  People can feel that, and it’s attractive.

Intuitively, when I wanted a bigger social circle I thought that there was something I needed to do “out there”.  I needed to meet more people.  I needed to get out of the house more.  Those things are great, but if you do those things you will have far greater rewards and results if you can learn to be content and happy with yourself first.

The Big Three

It’s been said that these are the big three in personal development.  If you can get health, wealth, and relationships all working in-sync, then you’ll feel that flow of life and things will lean towards spiraling upwards.

Accomplishing Big Things

When I read Atomic Habits, it made me appreciate the small things.  Small habits over time can lead to big accomplishments or big bombs that you have to deal with later.

I think it’s human nature to want to go to big accomplishments quickly.  We want to be able to play and sing the beautiful song we hear right after we hear it.  We want to have the great bodies we see others have instantly.  We want to have success in our careers overnight.

Intuitively I want to jump right into having and accomplishing big things, but ironically they come from the small recurring habits over time.

Are there any counterintuitive solutions that have blown your mind?

Make it Social 150 150 admin

Make it Social

There was a time when I used to do most things alone.  I didn’t feel lonely, or a loner or any other negative label people associate with doing things alone.  It was just normal to me.  This was until I met someone who was the opposite.  He hated doing anything alone, and he needed someone around and would go so far as to beg people to do activities with him.  Somehow, it didn’t come from a needy place either.

This was so strange to me, but it made a permanent imprint on me.  I took on some of those habits and still keep em in the back pocket.  They’re so useful on the social side.  He made me feel included, and from then on I thought…”hey, if this is making me feel included, I’m sure other people would like to feel this way too”.

If you’re a person who spends a lot of time alone, consider stretching yourself and inviting other people to do activities with you that you’d normally do alone.  You’ll get that yes and you’ll also get objections if you do this enough.  Then you go through objection handling (in sales this means having a solid answer to resolve the objection).  Then viola!  You are doing an activity that was meant to be solo with another person or other people!

Gratitude is Badass 150 150 admin

Gratitude is Badass

Here’s another concept you wouldn’t think to put under the badass category…but isn’t it badass to appreciate what you have now?

Or have we been conditioned to always look for what’s shiny and new.  When we get it, the 🙂 wears off and we’re chasing another high.  Why?

Appreciate what you have now.  Take care of what you have now and watch it grow.  Keep that same energy.  That’s how you’ll create a badass life.  Other people, other resources will be drawn to that energy.   People will see you care for the people in your social circle and want to be a part of it.