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Creating Space in Small Ways 150 150 admin

Creating Space in Small Ways

If there’s someone (or lots of someone’s) in your world you’re tolerating, and…for whatever reason, you feel you can’t get away from them completely immediately, then you can create space in small ways.

Create some momentum.  If you live with them, you can spend as much time in other places as possible doing things that bring your energy up.  The more you do to raise your vibe and make you feel good, the better you’ll be able to handle and accept the situation you’re while taking action to move forward from it.  Don’t resist it by staying in anger or feeling helpless.  What you resist persists.  Keep moving.  Do as much as you can to find extra energy because you will need it.  I’ve done this before  by spending a lot of time in my car or the library or spending time in nature or at someone else’s place.  You have the whole world at your disposal.

You will be surprised by how much energy you’re spending tolerating a situation.  That energy used for tolerance can be used much more productively.  You have the right to your own space if you need it.

Global is Badass 150 150 admin

Global is Badass

How many people (and how often) do you connect with people outside of your city?  Outside of your state/province?  Outside of your country?  Outside of your continent?

It makes me smile when I hear someone’s accent when they’re speaking english.  It’s just a reminder to me that I have friends and connections all over the world, and that’s fuckin cool to a local Texas guy like me.

It reminds me that I’m not just a Texan, but I’m a human – and humans are all over the world.  Having connections – any connections – from around the world gives me a world pulse.  Especially if I talk with someone residing in another part of the world one-on-one vs. hearing about events on the news or through social media.  It makes me feel more connected to that place.

I will say thank you to the internet for this!  I connect with people outside of Texas, outside of the United States a lot through Zoom or forums or Whatsapp or some online platform.

Today it’s easier than ever to connect with people globally.  Tell someone thank you on social media!  Engage in an online conversation.  Join a Facebook group.  Learn different languages and travel to new countries (I’m talking to myself here too!).

I think the biggest thing you start to see is that…though we’re from different cultures and unique, we are all very much alike.  Also, you open yourself up to very different ways of thinking about the same problems.  You gain access to a wider variety of perspectives.

Connecting globally is officially badass.

Going With The Flow vs Creating The Flow 150 150 admin

Going With The Flow vs Creating The Flow

In social situations, you’ll be presented with the opportunity to direct things sometimes and the opportunity to go along with the current.  I think there is skill to this, and as with anything the more you practice, the better.  The more you practice being in conversations with different groups of people, the better feel you’ll have for this.

If you were to look at my life, I probably have much more experience on the “going with the flow” side.  There can be problems if you only know this side though.  If you go with others flows that you know aren’t going to lead you where you want to go, then you end up having a pattern of being unhappy and complaining.

Too much going with the flow and you’ll feel like there’s not enough “you” in what you do.  You’ll go with other’s flow but not your own, and you are unique.  There are aspects about you that are unique and that call for you to do more creating flow.

When I say flow, I mean anything that flows.  For example…are your finances flowing the way you’d like?  What flow are you going with there?  Did someone else create that flow for you? (for example a job)?  Do you like where that direction is going? If not, you have the ability to change the flow and to learn to create your own flow.

Are you finding your conversations aren’t flowing in directions you’d like?  Who’s creating those conversations?  Are you just going along with dull conversations that offer no value?  Possibly gossip or complaining or blaming?  Who’s responsibility is it to create a different flow in your conversations?

Swing the pendulum towards creating more flow.  I think you’ll be surprised at what happens!

Keep it Light 150 150 admin

Keep it Light

Since writing on the subject yesterday on finding energy and eliminating the things that bogged you down, I wanted to talk about this in conversations.

Like attracts like, so if you’re attracting light, fun, and meaningful conversations that’s an indicator on where your own vibe is.  Maybe these are conversations where you all are in the moment and going with the flow and being conscious of where the energy wants to go.  Or you’re extracting good lessons and memories from the past.  That’s why it’s light.  It isn’t negatively charged with the heaviness of the past.  Sometimes any positive talk of the past will bring about a comparison to now in people who are looking to bring more heaviness into this moment.

If you’re not attracting light, fun conversations or light and fun people, you might be attracting more serious, downer, conversations filled with lots of the past.  Serious people attract more serious situations.  Maybe there’s anger and/or bitterness here, or regret or depression, etc.

If you’re feeling these things, they will show up in conversation…and a person who is a match for that vibe will be in resonance with it.  You’ll find it easier to attract more of that energy.  This might not be what you want if you were to consciously choose what energies you want around, but you might also be used to it.  It might be familiar, so it’s easier to attract.

Heaven On Earth 575 300 admin

Heaven On Earth

I can’t tell you what your heaven is or when it is going to come or how it will look.  However, I can tell you that you will know when it does.

You would think that it’s some instance where you’re pleasured out.  Where you’re experiencing all these different pleasures you think you want…but that’s not how heaven showed up for me.

The instance for me happened when I was at a spanking party.  I looked around…stunned…and I asked myself, “could life really be this amazing?”.  At that moment it literally felt like heaven on Earth.  And get this – I was living in my car!

It wasn’t just that moment that inspired that feeling of heaven on Earth.  Imagine a cup…and all the previous insights and experiences I had within the past 2 years had been adding water to that cup.  Before attending that party, the cup was about 3/4ths full.  Then when I went to my first spanking party, the cup just started overflowing with water.  That’s what it was like.  That cup poured over to Solving Problems Socially.  I was feeling so great, I felt other people had to experience this, and that I could help them get there because I had been on the opposite side.

Heaven came from finding members of my real family.  Not members who were biologically / genetically / blood line family, but people from all over the world who aligned with deep parts of me. I met people who aligned with the part of me that wanted to do heart-centered work and make it sustainable.  I met with people who had addictions and issues with food and/or weight gains/losses. I met people who were deeply into spanking.  These parts of me were previously suppressed and when they started to be expressed then I found my new, aligned family members.  What I’m working on now is being a good container for that heaven.

What are you suppressing that needs to be expressed?  When will you express it?  What if you knew the part of you that you suppress needed to be shared…like it was your purpose to share it.  And to help other people express it to!  What if…the expression of the parts of you that you normally suppress is a prerequisite or a key to unlock connection with your true family.  Family that has been through what you have been suppressing and can help you along the journey.  Family that can offer you support and answers and can relate.  Family that can bring whatever it is you’re suppressing out of you to express fully.

You can feel heaven on earth now.  You don’t need the outside to match it at this moment, but you can use your imagination and feel what it would be like to have all the deep parts of you supported, acknowledged and encouraged.  Feel that feeling with as much intensity as you can.  The more you feel this feeling and think about it on the inside, the more your reality must shift to match it on the outside.

Social Expansion Online vs Offline 150 150 admin

Social Expansion Online vs Offline

There are many differences is connecting with people online vs offline, but one of the ways they are the same is you have to put yourself out there online and/or offline to expand your social circle.

Putting yourself out there…your ideas…your creations…your voice…your face…your presence out there is where they overlap.

Along the same lines, giving away value for free seems to work well in both online and offline such as volunteering, or giving constructive feedback to those who are willing to listen.  Online one form of giving away value for free is a lead magnet.  Offline in day-to-day life, it’s not called a lead magnet, but the concept is eerily similar.  See this post for more on the subject!

I see starting a business and getting it off the ground the same way – online and offline.  Many times, marketing is the issue both online and offline.  How much are you putting yourself out there online and offline?

Putting yourself out there is the big overlap between social expansion offline and social expansion online!

Feel The Embarrassment to Help 150 150 admin

Feel The Embarrassment to Help

Embarrassment is commonly looked at as something to be avoided. When you share embarrassing stories, there’s a possibility people can take those stories and keep them and have a “one up” on you.  I’ve seen people be vulnerable enough to share their embarrassing stories, only to have someone else bring their embarrassing story back up to bring them down a notch.  This is cheap.  It’s tacky.  And what that person who brings it back up doesn’t realize is how tacky and cheap they look doing it.  It says more about them (the person that uses it to bring them down).

When I started sharing my story in my 12-step program, it made me not care so much about situations like the one mentioned above or anything else negative that can come from being embarrassed or sharing embarrassing stories.  I saw the meaning in my embarrassment when people would connect with me after I shared, and call me on the phone. I saw how it changed the people around me for the good.  If nothing else, it raised awareness. My sponsor would tell me “just remember…it’s not about you”.  It was about a person I could help.  I saw the importance of helping just one person.  That person can create some huge ripples…and you never know who it will be.

Share your failures.  Share the things that don’t put you in such a great light.  Share your embarrassing stories.  Be willing to be publicly embarrassed.  You’ll be surprised at the people who are watching to learn and grow and raise their awareness.  I think you’ll also be surprised at the different ways it can raise you up as well.

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle 150 150 admin

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle

I never thought about expanding my social circle in terms of one friend at a time.  I spent much of my time alone, but after that, I asked “what world can I get into?”, and that was a lot more effective in making friends.  As in…what world do I want to learn about?  That way I can possibly connect with many people who could be friends.  If I want to get into dancing, there’s probably a lot of dancers I could have as friends if I start going to the tutorials, lessons, dance sessions, performances, etc.

What about the world of music?  Think about the friends you could make there.  You could have pianists, singers, piano teachers, drummers, audio tech guys/gals, Tamborine players..who knows!

The possibilities are endless.  This is how I think about social circles now – how will I dive into my interests and meet like-minded people so we can talk about our common interests and keep getting better…and attracting more people into these worlds.  I find the deeper I can get into a certain world, and the more I can commit…the better things get.  This comes from caring!  and when ya genuinely care…you get the deeper connections.

Keep doing this and you have friends in different worlds and there can be some overlap…or a lot of overlap depending on the worlds.