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Locking On To A Vibe 150 150 admin

Locking On To A Vibe

Has there ever been a time where you experienced an unforgettable moment?  Where you remember the energy being amazing?  Maybe you…

  • hung out with a group of people who inspire you or
  • went to an event or
  • had a celebration or
  • went to a workshop or
  • traveled somewhere or
  • a performed in some way or
  • had an “aha” moment where life changed

Know that at any point, you can recreate that feeling.  Your outside circumstances don’t have to be in those particular ways for you to feel those feelings.  You can recreate that vibe within you now.  Close your eyes and put yourself back in that moment.   The more you can recreate that vibe here and now, the more your circumstances or life situation must change to match that feeling…that vibe.  Play with it.

I know when I have one of those moments, it’s a real breakthrough because I can lock it in, so if I ever fall way out of alignment I can hone in on that vibe again.  Personally, I’m working on locking those feelings in daily, so much so that it becomes normal to have them and experience them, and they aren’t so out-of-the-ordinary.

The Scooby Doo Guy 150 150 admin

The Scooby Doo Guy

I had been on a string of doing open mics (piano and singing), I decided to book a spot on the House of Blues’ open mic night.  When the day arrives, me and a friend get there early.

It’s set up to where the stage is at the front…the dining area is in the middle and the bar is in the back.  After I let the staff know I was there, I head to the bar in the back and we just chill.

We see some decent acts…and then it’s my turn to go. I perform, and I think I did pretty well…and it was cool.

I get off the stage and head to the back again and after me another guy, maybe in his early 20’s, gets on the stage with a nice guitar strapped around his shoulders.  I’m instantly getting hype in my mind.  I always get hype when I see a fellow musician because I know the hours and hours of practice it takes to be good.  And he requested a mic?!?! So we might get some singing to accompany the guitar playing?  Yo…let’s go!

I quickly realized this wasn’t gonna go like I thought.  When he grabs the mic he then proceeds to sing the Scooby Doo theme song.  That’s right – “Scooby Dooby Doo…Where are you?”.

Now during this…there are some women who give him the pity claps and dancing along (including the bar tender who was back there with us), but…95% of the room was looking at him and each other like “Wtf?  Is he serious?”.  He was indeed serious.  His set ends and he walks off stage.  Keep in mind…he never plays the guitar at all.  It just hangs on his shoulders pretty much untouched.

This was years ago.  It’s crazy that I remember him so vividly to this day.  It’s a testament to how well violating expectations works to stand out.  From that day, I don’t remember the other decent acts.  Hell, I don’t even remember the songs I played.  All I remember from that day is this mother fucker getting up there with a guitar that he didn’t use singing a damn cartoon theme song.

You can go to far with this concept though.  It was like real-life click bait, and if you’ve seen enough Youtube videos, you’ll understand how annoying this can be.

This stood out because it was very bad, but you can also stand out being extraordinarily good.  This approach is way better received and garners much more respect.  Let’s do that.  Let’s work to be unique, but exceptionally great too because…I don’t wanna get Rick Rolled anymore.

The Most Important Social Skill 150 150 admin

The Most Important Social Skill

I say throughout this course that I learned social skills from a friend.

I look back on that experience being around him, and I can say for sure I had a completely different outlook on relationships / people / social skills after being around this guy.  So, what did he really teach me that I could share with you.

When I really break it down, the main component was trust.  Trust in his own ability.  Trust in his own intuition.  Trust in God.  Trust in his instincts.  Trust to dive deeper into his own interests.  Trust to share his talents.  Trust that the right thing to say will come at the right moment.  Trust to act on that right thing that comes up.  Trust in his ability to find answers if he didn’t know them.  Trust in other people and their talents and abilities.  Trust to know when to give and take.  Trust that his investments in people would pay off.

It wasn’t all smooth and many times he’d miss the mark, but it made for such a dynamic life, and he had everyone’s respect around him for trusting at such a high level.

Much of the trust came from work, practice and experience.  It’s a lot easier to trust in your abilities when you’ve consciously worked to build up those abilities and you’ve failed and learned lessons and asked for help when needed and overcame obstacles.  The more you do these things, the more trust you develop in skill building too!

I started to trust at a much higher level after we went separate ways, and of course I started having results I saw him have. I trusted reality and reality trusted me right back.  People trusted me enough to let their guard down around me.   People trusted me with resources.  Reality started giving me great answers to questions I had for years!  People started giving me help and support!  I want you to experience these results and way more.  They will blow your mind!

Trust can leave you vulnerable!  People can hurt you and violate your trust.  People have hurt me and violated my trust.  These can leave some wounds and really leave you hesitant to trust again and be vulnerable.  You can also heal those wounds.  You might need to seek professional help.  I am not a doctor, but I know that there are 7 billion people in the world and they are not all like the people that violated your trust.

I invite you, just as someone invited me, to lean a little more into trust – whatever that means for you.

How can you lean into more trust?  What is your intuition telling you right now?  Are you open for answers to come in?  Do you trust them enough to act on them when they do?  Do you trust other people?  Do you hang around people you trust more often than people you don’t trust?  Do you trust in your own abilities?  Do you trust your intuition?  Do you trust this reality?

Abstinence from Boring Mundane Jobs 150 150 admin

Abstinence from Boring Mundane Jobs

It’s been a while since I’ve had a Job.  I quit my last one in June 2018. My life has contracted in many ways and expanded in others.

People want to escape the boring, uninspiring jobs, and I get that.  I have been there too many times to count.  But the problem could be that…on some level you want that.  You want the boring mundane job because it’s predicable, it’s safe.  It’s a comfort zone for you.  Don’t look at this as bad.  It is what it is.

What might work instead is to get out of your comfort zone while you’re at your job. Face fears at your job one day at a time.  Ask for something you wouldn’t normally ask for.  Make this a daily practice at your job.  If you find yourself comfortable at your job, do something out of your comfort zone.  Go out of your way to clean the kitchen.  Ask for a raise.  Ask someone above you if there’s a way you can take on more responsibility.  Maybe start taking classes on the side or research a way to make the company better and talk to someone about implementation.  Travel to a new city during your vacation time.  Attend a workshop!  There’s an infinite amount of ways to get out of your comfort zone.  You’ll know when this is happening because you’ll feel the tingle/butterflies in your stomach before approaching your job.  Accept the job as it is and don’t fight it.  Whatever you resist persists.

I might even venture to say, you’re not getting out of your comfort zone outside your job either.  Use this time to swing the pendulum towards facing your fears so your world can expand.  You’ve got to be abundant and free on the inside before you’ll see it on the outside.  If you’re giving into your fears, you’re not free.  You’re a slave to your own fears.

The job on the outside is just a reflection of your own inner world.  Be free now.  The more you are free now, the freer your future will be.

 

 

Why are Social Skills Important? 150 150 admin

Why are Social Skills Important?

Because we live in a social world. You could live a life like Chuck Noland from the movie Cast Away, but why?  There are so many great experiences you can have in a world of more than 7 billion people.

I devalued social skills until I met people with great social circles. Things just flowed easier for them, it was easier to get needs met – to the point they didn’t have to think about getting their needs met as much, which led them to more service and contributing more, which made life better for everyone!

I feel thankful for the years of social isolation and all its struggles.  It helped me appreciate witnessing and experiencing a dynamic social life so much more.

If you think about evolution, to me, it’s easy to believe we’re wired to be social.  If we are wired to be social, then social skills are vital, not only for survival but quality of life.  It’s like you’re fighting against yourself if you don’t develop these skills and put them to good use.

Blunt and Direct Books 150 150 admin

Blunt and Direct Books

If you feel like you’ve been in your head a lot – intellectually thinking about different concepts and shuffling through different ideas from different sources – and you take a hard, honest look at your actual real-world results and accomplishments and assess that you have nothing to show for all this thinking, then perhaps you should get yourself in motion and take some actual action.

If I feel like I need to balance ideas, concepts, thinking, daydreaming with something more grounded, practical and down-to-earth I’ll use mental programming and listen to some grounded material…maybe even courses with actual action steps.   If not an actual course on a subject or area I want to make progress in, I’ll go with mental programming and chose someone grounded to listen to.

Grounded, practical book suggestions:

Almost any book from Brian Tracy

Relentless – Tim S. Grover

The 50th Law – 50 Cent and Robert Greene

The War of Art – Steven Pressfield

These books are written in a tell-it-like-it-is style.  There is a rise in this style due to lots of “feel-good” books.  I think those two styles support each other.  A lot of the books with positive messages, affirmations, feel-good material enhance your ability to take bold and direct action without being hindered by your doubts and fears.  BUT like anything, there can be too much of a good thing.  Balance the “feel-good” messages, affirmations, ideas, concepts, and anything else that goes in the head with more motion and bold, inspired, direct action outward.

 

 

 

Creating Space in Small Ways 150 150 admin

Creating Space in Small Ways

If there’s someone (or lots of someone’s) in your world you’re tolerating, and…for whatever reason, you feel you can’t get away from them completely immediately, then you can create space in small ways.

Create some momentum.  If you live with them, you can spend as much time in other places as possible doing things that bring your energy up.  The more you do to raise your vibe and make you feel good, the better you’ll be able to handle and accept the situation you’re while taking action to move forward from it.  Don’t resist it by staying in anger or feeling helpless.  What you resist persists.  Keep moving.  Do as much as you can to find extra energy because you will need it.  I’ve done this before  by spending a lot of time in my car or the library or spending time in nature or at someone else’s place.  You have the whole world at your disposal.

You will be surprised by how much energy you’re spending tolerating a situation.  That energy used for tolerance can be used much more productively.  You have the right to your own space if you need it.

Thoughts After Two Months of Daily Blogging 150 150 admin

Thoughts After Two Months of Daily Blogging

So I’ve made it two months of blogging every day.  Check out the archives to see them all.  Here are observations so far.

  • It’s crazy to me that there’s still always something to write about – and I’ve written very little on current events.  I’m learning to trust whatever this is that’s giving me more and more ideas on what to write about.
  • It feels like I’m engaged with work – Finally! I like doing it.  It’s fun to me.  It’s a challenge to overcome my own blocks – and I love the challenge.  Contrast this with years of lots of boring, repetitive, non-stimulating easy work I did that left me deflated and disengaged from the thought of doing more of it.  Boring, easy work has a cost.
  • Listening to music helps with the flow of writing, but it does depend on the type of music.  I like music from John Mayer, Michael Jackson, Brian McKnight, Drake, Mac Ayers…something mellow but upbeat.  Matter of fact, this writing is under the influence right now.  I’ve been drinking too much John Mayer music.
  • I feel like I can progress because I’m getting thoughts I’m having up and out of my head. I can invite new thoughts and new actions because I’ve processed things through writing and can avoid circular thinking and circular living.  Shout outs to the people that taught me the importance of getting things “up and out”.
  • I’ve unearthed some big things for me.  One thing that comes to mind is the meaning behind writing so much about social skills.  It means a lot to me because I was told to shut up and be quiet when I was younger – a lot.  No blame, just grew up around pretty much all adults.  I had honestly forgotten about it all until all this writing.
  • There’s a higher sense of responsibility here to keep going.  To keep it fresh and fun.  To get it in front of other eyes.
  • There’s an edge because I don’t want to miss a day 🙂
  • Having clean space to work adds to the appreciation.
  • I want to do a better job of writing as soon as I get the inspiration to write.  Sometimes I push it off until the end of the day to my own detriment.  This is being written at 8:11PM, so I have lots of time and space left in the day to get everything out I need to get out.
  • So far so good 😉 Only…304 days left.