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Sometimes the Thing You Don’t Want to Do Is the Thing You Need To Do 150 150 admin

Sometimes the Thing You Don’t Want to Do Is the Thing You Need To Do

I know.  Sometimes you know you need to do this thing…whatever it is, but you don’t want to.  You know it’s beneficial for you and for everyone in every way to do this thing, but you still don’t want to.

I first heard this from a sponsor who I would talk to every morning in a food group I was in, so I have been here plenty of times.

Most of the times the answer here is to surrender to whatever process I’m going through.  My mind is telling me all the reasons not to do this thing, and I’m resisting it for whatever reason…maybe it’s unknown…maybe I’m not aware of the benefits of doing it yet, but if I can put down the resistance like a hot coal and surrender to the process, then things will change for the good of all.

 

This Chart was a Big Deal For Me 150 150 admin

This Chart was a Big Deal For Me

There was a point when I was watching the movie The Secret where they showed this chart below.

Kinda hard to read, but the top half (good feelings) reads love, gratitude, joy, passion, happiness / excitement, joyful expectation, hope, satisfaction in that order.  Then the bottom half (not-so-good feelings) reads boredom, annoyance, worry, blame, anger, revenge, hate, resentment, guilt, depression, fear.

When I saw this chart in the The Secret it was one of those moments where it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Up until that point, most of my life, I had feelings from the bottom half.  One big motive of this DVD I was watching was getting me to the top half.  I felt like it was asking me “what do you need to do to feel more feelings on the top half”.  I’ll never forget that moment because it was very eye-opening and very relieving.  I could stop beating myself down with all these negative emotions.

Are you beating yourself down with any of these negative feelings?  At the time I saw this chart, out of all the good, top half emotions, I felt that gratitude was the easiest to shift into. I could be thankful I had two eyes and could walk and other simple things that I take for granted on a daily basis, and I could just sit in that for a while.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BuMGycUhrcO/

The Counterintuitive Solution to “Poor Me” 150 150 admin

The Counterintuitive Solution to “Poor Me”

Sometimes there’s a life event or a series of life events that impact us in ways we perceive as negative which then might lead us to go into “poor me” thinking.

It’s where you’re feeling sorry for yourself and could lead to a big circle.  You keep looking at your life situation > you perceive it was negative > you feel powerless to change it how you want it> and feel even worse and the spiral downwards continues.

It feels like reality has violated your trust, and what happens when trust is eroded?  You might be hesitant to put yourself out there again to reality because they are afraid of being hurt again.

So then what happens?  Here is where you feel the need to contract.  You might feel like you need to isolate and protect yourself from reality’s trust violation.  You might feel like you need to hoard resources and information and keep to yourself, but the solution is counterintuitive.  The answer is to expand, get out of yourself and help others as much as you can.

What this will do is put your problems in perspective, and turn down the volume of your own problems.  When you’re in the midst of negative life situations, it can have a tendency to be right there in your face…taking up all your mental space.  You can easily compare and despair (comparing yourself to someone you perceive having a better life situation than you and feeling inferior/jealous/envious because of the comparison).  Helping someone seems to open the door to invite your own answers in.  You want / need coaching?  Coach someone else.  You want / need accountability?  Hold someone else accountable.  You need / want money?  Give money.

These counterintuitive solutions help you get back into flow with reality, and your relationship to this reality is of the utmost importance.

Learning Music Making Day 2 150 150 admin

Learning Music Making Day 2

Managed to finish the learning from this site.  Again, I love the hands on learning I was able to do, and I really got to understand song structure on a deeper level.  That was the part that always puzzled me – how hooks, chorus’, bridges, and verses interact with each other to form songs.

I had an intention this year to up my song writing game.  I can see that coming together, but not how I planned it.  I’m able to think of lyrics to fit within the song easier because I’ve been blogging for almost three months daily so words come to me when I can tune in and ride the waves of flow.  Mix that in with song structure and inspiration from other great song writers and you can see an intention coming together quite nicely.  Thank you 🙂

Great Site for Learning Music (Free) 150 150 admin

Great Site for Learning Music (Free)

Found this site for music making.  I’m currently on the “melodies” section, so i should be all done by tomorrow.  I’ve learned so much about song construction through there already, and I came in knowing quite a bit about music.

I like that it emphasizes hands-on learning.  The site is structured so you can experiment on the browser itself with the things they are teaching you each lesson and hear it real time looped.  It reminds me of using GarageBand.  Try it out!

Just for Today 150 150 admin

Just for Today

This was taught to me in my food group, and I think it sums up how great goals are accomplished.

People would come in and see people who had lost excess weight and kept it off for years.  Not a product…not a sales pitch…actual people who were eating normal foods who once had a problem with their relationship to food.

Their advice was so similar.  It was some version of ‘just for today’ meaning do the right things today (eat the right foods at the right times during the day) and over time it all adds up…and it did.

I’ve actually used that so many places.  I don’t worry about the big goals.  The big goals take care of themselves once you get today in order and rinse and repeat.  It’s the habits over time that determine the quality of life.  Do the hard habits today…just for today…and life gets easier.

Masculine, Feminine and Inner Child Energies + Sexual Polarity 150 150 admin

Masculine, Feminine and Inner Child Energies + Sexual Polarity

You can take social situations (two or more people) and sense what type of energy the situation needs – masculine energy, feminine energy, or inner child energy.  You can also look at your own life and see what energy is out of whack.  I also use inner child because even though children grow up to become adults, all people walk around with a child version of themselves inside.

Masculine energy / qualities –

  • Leadership
  • Structure
  • Order
  • Organization
  • Courage
  • Action
  • Authority
  • Logic
  • Protection
  • Reflection
  • Evaluation
  • Resourcefulness
  • Stability
  • Balance
  • Direction
  • Purpose
  • Penetration
  • Power
  • Strength
  • Dominance
  • Self care for strength and power

Why would the masculine want to go social: To produce / accomplish

Feminine energy / qualities –
  • Empathy
  • Connection
  • Emotion
  • Compassion
  • Tact
  • Caring
  • Sensitivity
  • Surrender
  • Attention
  • Beauty
  • Reception
  • Nurturing
  • Submission
  • Beauty
  • Self care for beauty
  • Radiance
Why would the feminine want to go social: To connect
Inner Child energy / qualities – 
  • Creativity
  • Fun
  • Play
  • Authenticity
  • Vulnerability
  • Curiosity and Wonder
  • Expression
  • Energy
Why would the inner child want to go social: To play / have fun

For example, let’s say it’s you and group of friends just talking, and you start to sense the conversation getting a bit stale and boring.  This might be a great time to suggest to go somewhere fun (child energy).  Let’s say everyone agrees.  Now more masculine energy is needed to provide organization and direction.  Someone might have to make reservations, maybe someone gives orders to people, maybe someone else takes care of how to get there through an Uber or driving everyone there.   You want to accomplish getting all the people to the destination safely and as quickly as possible with everything they need (masculine energy).  The whole point of this adventure was to connect and have a good time (feminine energy).You can also use these energies to look at your own life and see what energy is out of whack.Do you feel like you lack purpose or direction?  Is nothing really getting accomplished?  Do you feel like your life has no order or organization?  Your masculine energy is out of wack!

Are you isolated?  Do you feel like you have a lot of unmet needs? Do you feel a need to connect?  Your feminine might be out of whack.

Are you bogged down? Do you feel like you’re in a rut?  Do you feel like no matter what you accomplish it will feel hollow and empty?  Do you feel like your life needs more excitement?  Adventure?  This is child energy.

These energies all work in concert with each other, so if you want more masculine energy, you might look to feminine and/or child energy.  Let’s say you want more purpose or direction (masculine).  You might explore your curiosity (child energy) and research possible new directions that you think you’d like or that you feel intuitively called too.  You might connect (feminine) with someone who’s already been on a path you’re curious about to gain insights on their experience going down that path and inspiration to go down the same path.  If you ultimately decide to go down the new path, it could bring on a completely new sense of purpose and direction (masculine) – the energy you wanted more of to start.

The more you can go into each energy, the more you can recognize what each situation needs.  You become more confident in this sense the more you condition yourself to act on your own senses and intuition.

What is your strongest energy currently?  All they all well integrated?  What energy do you intuitively feel is off?  How can you bring in the other energies to balance it all.

Sexual Polarity

Yes – “like attracts like”.  If you are spending a lot of time in your masculine energy, you’ll resonate with and attract more masculine energy.  The same with feminine energy.  However, sexually the masculine and feminine work in polarity.  If you want to attract more masculine sexual energy in your life, go more into feminine energy, and vice-versa.

The same friend I met who taught me a lot of social skills, also was an inspiration here.  I saw women respond to him very differently than everyone else I knew.  Women were always around him everywhere we went, and they were always flirting with him and showing him so much affection.  He also usually had a girlfriend.  So…it inspired me to learn what he was doing differently than me or anyone else I knew.  It was the first time I remember being THAT inspired to take action on how to better to relate to women.  So I got into dating material and started reading pick-up material, audiobooks and listening to Youtube videos and experimenting myself – and it all led me to masculine energy.  All this stuff I was reading and listening to was just pointing me to becoming the best man I could be.  Duh.  Of course a woman in her feminine would be sexually drawn to a man in his masculine.  I had so many great results going that direction that I haven’t looked back since.

Here are a few additional notes:

  • These aren’t set in stone and these energies are always in motion.
  • Masculine isn’t necessarily linked with man and feminine isn’t necessarily linked with woman.  Everyone has both energies to some degree, but most men’s dominant energy is masculine and most women’s dominant energy is feminine.  For some, it’s less about the gender but more about the energy.
What If I Hate People? 150 150 admin

What If I Hate People?

I want to say that I’ve been here, and it’s not a fun place to be.

When you think about it…did you always hate people? Were you born hating people? Babies don’t hate, so it just leads me to believe there was something that made you hate people – possibly someone violating your trust / abuse / trauma / unfair treatment etc.

I’m not a therapist or any type of doctor, so I can only share my experience of how I genuinely went from hating people to …creating a course on loving them and bringing them in.

The “I hate people” phase really amped up for me in high school and briefly in college. I never said it out loud either…who can you tell this to? especially without them taking it personally, but it was an attitude I carried around. Honestly, at the time I don’t think I wanted it to change either…it was like a me-against-the-world kinda thing and something about me liked that.

The Secret

In college I actually went to a counselor for depression. For quite a while it was pretty much just vent sessions for me. It was right here where I found the DVD The Secret. The actual DVD didn’t do much for me until I listened to the DVD commentary with Paul Harrington and Rhonda Byrne. Then it was like whooooosh! new life from that point. I bought a copy for the counselor and never went back.

That was really the start of conscious self care. I remember a recommendation in that DVD to do whatever you must do to feel good, so that day I really took inventory of what was making me feel good and what did not make me feel good or was neutral. Endless video games weren’t making me feel good, but music did make me feel good. So I listened to music as much as I could that day – upbeat and positive because I noticed that depressing or angry music made me feel depressed and angry along with the music. I noticed I got so much done that day and felt better about it.

That DVD also recommended meditation and that helped with all this too! I’m very thankful that from there I stumbled on some Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. It woke me up to all these dark, negative thoughts I was having about myself and others so often everyday…basically beating me down. After a while of doing this I said to myself “dang…I’m using a lot of energy feeling hate / resentment / anger / frustration and it’s only hurting me!”

So…just carving out some time everyday to turn my mind off (meditation!) gave me a LOT of relief and eventually got me to neutral or 0. The visualization / audio books / positive people and self care pushed it to positive.

Since meditation and positive music and visualization (also recommended in the DVD) had really changed things in a big way, it led me to really dig deep into self care. The things listed below were just more aspects of self care that were extremely impactful for me later:

  • Recovering from an addiction to sugar and flour and cleaning up my diet (biggest impact)
  • Healing wounds that were caused by others violating boundaries and trust
  • Letting my guard down with safe people who could be trusted and sharing more of the real me with them
  • Realizing that all people / reality weren’t like those who violated boundaries and trust
  • Learning from people who had gone from hate to love, and seeing how they overcame it
  • Feeling and believing that I didn’t have to let the past define the present
  • Hanging around people who have the complete opposite outlook than I did socially, people who love other people and want them around
  • Seeking professional help if needed IS a part of self care! It was a part of my own self care.

If you hate people, implementing social skills will be that much harder. This is one of the main reasons I put self care before social skills. I know that consistently hating people (or other consistent negative emotions) will show up in your social interactions if not addressed.

Take inventory of your feelings throughout a typical day. What are you feeling throughout most of the day? What could actions could you take to feel good each day? What are you doing now that doesn’t make you feel good? Do more of what makes you feel good and do less of what doesn’t. Prioritize your own fun!

You come first! Take care of yourself.