I feel like “blah”

• December 31, 2019
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I remember telling my 12-step program sponsor one day (who I talked to every day at 6:30 AM) that I was feeling apathetic. It was like this “blah” feeling about life. Things were going well, pretty much all around the board, but I was feeling very empty and disinterested. She said something that was a shift in how I view being apathetic.

Up until that point I thought apathy was the absence of feelings. Even the definition lends itself to that way of thinking.

The dictionary defines apathy as lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

But she told me, “maybe you’re feeling and thinking so much that you’re overwhelmed”.

That was actually an answer that felt very right! Viola! It was like I overloaded the system mentally and emotionally. I remember I had a lot going on at that time as well. Good things, but just many responsibilities and moving parts to pay attention to.

If that “blah” feeling was an absence of feelings, like I initially thought, then that would have actually been a great thing. It’s like a meditative state. Like 0. You’re in an open state for things to come through you, and for you to be the watcher, watching them flow through you.

Have you been feeling “blah” about life? Maybe it’s just overwhelm. Try some meditation (turning your mind off for a bit). I’m not saying that apathy = overwhelm…I am saying that it’s another perspective, another lens to look through.