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Starting Conversations for Introverts 150 150 admin

Starting Conversations for Introverts

So, when I (an introvert) was rooming with my friend (an extrovert), I was able to see things he did that I didn’t do. I had the luxury of learning a lot just by sitting back and watching what he would say and how he would say it and how others would respond.

One huge thing I noticed was he always made the first move in everything…like he was thinking one step ahead all the time.  I, at the time, was always reactive.

With people, this meant he would call past friends out of the blue to reconnect (He called me which is how we reconnected).  He would be the first to suggest something for the group to do.  He would initiate conversations with strangers.  When people can sense that you’re coming from a genuine place, they’re more apt to let their guard down.  And since most of his approaches were genuine, I saw the majority of these conversations flow smoothly.

You can look at this from a “technique” point of view.  If you search you’ll probably find good “openers” or some introductory phrases to use.  What this will do is send you right back to your head when you’re actually starting conversations with people.  That’s the last place you want to come from.

Remember I said I had the luxury of watching my friend do all these approaches?  From the outside looking in, it was like watching someone create their own world.  I started to realize it’s a creative thing.  You get to decide how you want to approach people.  There is no right or wrong way – just approach and be genuine.  More important than what you say is the energy behind it.  Also, more important than what you say, is the fact that you have the courage to say something at all.  To get better at starting conversations, start more conversations and be willing to fail.

You can take this simple skill as far as you want to go.  Trust and believe it can take you far.  What if you learned different languages?  How many more conversations could you start?  How many more options do you have in a world of over 7 billion people if you get good at starting conversations?

Why History Matters 150 150 admin

Why History Matters

I used to sit in classrooms bored to tears in history class.  Before three weeks ago, if I had to rank all the subjects by how much I was interested in them, I would have ranked history dead last.  I felt disconnected from it.  It was just a bunch of facts I had to memorize for tests – at least that’s what it was like in school.  Contrast this with the subject of math.  You can see math super early and see how it’s going to be useful for life.  I have to credit Genealogy for igniting my interest in history.  Genealogy connects the historical facts and events with you and I.

I was on my local library’s website just clunking around and saw that they added hella online resources due to Covid-19.  One of those resources was Ancestry.com.  It was now online for free through my library.  I searched for my name on Ancestry.com, and I was there.  I searched for other people’s names, and most were there too.

Eventually, I stumble on my great great uncle’s death certificate. The moment I read it was from the Houston Negro Hospital, that’s when shit got real.  Segregation got real.  Seeing that sparked all types of questions.  What was the Houston Negro Hospital like?  What else could I find on here?  Can anyone confirm this?  Who, in my family, knows this and who doesn’t know this?  Who was his father?  How did he interact with his brother (my great great grandfather)?

These questions eventually lead me to historical context questions.  What was it like during that time?  How did he end up in Texas?  Why did he move?  How did he move?

After finding that certificate, I went on to find A LOT more information, all courtesy of Ancestry.com.

Turns out there’s a running show that does this work with people called Finding Your Roots on PBS.  Who knew?!!!  I’ve seen several episodes, and I like the historical context they give when they dive deep into someone’s history.  I also like how they corroborate their record-based information with living people and DNA.

Ultimately today, it all brings me to a bigger question – How is history showing up today?

When you ask someone why they do the things they do,  they might tell you some version of “that’s how I was raised”.  Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism to deal with “how they were raised”.  I’ve lived life enough to see how cultures, attitudes, ways of thinking, behaviors, and traumas can get passed down from generation to generation.  What got passed down from history and again, how is it showing up today?

Be The Change You Want to See in the World 150 150 admin

Be The Change You Want to See in the World

The title of this blog is a quote by Mahatma Gandhi.

I’ve heard and seen this quote before, but I’ve never written down the changes I want to see in the world.  For every change in the world, it’s a pointer to my own character changes.

Changes I want to see in the world:

  • I want to see people be freer.  According to The Guardian, 1 in every 200 people was a slave (that article was written in February 2019).   WTF?  Come on!
  • I also want to see people accept more of the freedoms they have already.
  • I want to see different infrastructures and cities built up instead of jumping on the ones that are already thriving.  Let’s build up more spaces so we have more options on where to live.
  • I want to see people who aren’t expressing themselves express themselves more uniquely.  This means creating and delivering your work.
  • I want to see the world being more congruent in their character publicly and privately.   Be who you are in private in public…along the lines of Keep the Same Energy.
  • I want to see the world eating healthier.
  • I want to see people aligning decisions of money and financial abundance with oneness.
  • I want to see people have more forgiveness for themselves and others.
  • I want more people focused on personal growth.
    • I want a world more really to try new things, take on new experiments, and make more mistakes (easier when you live in a more forgiving world)
  • I want to see the world value oneness more.
  • I want the world to raise awareness of their habits.  The small things they do over and over that add up over time.
  • I want to see more intelligent and transparent leadership.  I live in Texas so…there’s been such a lack of leadership and consistent terrible decisions at both the state and federal level.

I look at this list, and I look at pointers to my own character and where I need to grow.  Right now I’d say expression and making expression a habit is where I wanted to do the most work this year – (hence the work on this site!).  I also want to do more work building up other infrastructures.

There’s a lot of work to do, and I take full responsibility for making the necessary changes in my character to get it done.

Gratitude is Badass 150 150 admin

Gratitude is Badass

Here’s another concept you wouldn’t think to put under the badass category…but isn’t it badass to appreciate what you have now?

Or have we been conditioned to always look for what’s shiny and new.  When we get it, the 🙂 wears off and we’re chasing another high.  Why?

Appreciate what you have now.  Take care of what you have now and watch it grow.  Keep that same energy.  That’s how you’ll create a badass life.  Other people, other resources will be drawn to that energy.   People will see you care for the people in your social circle and want to be a part of it.

Overcome This and You’ll Be Free 150 150 admin

Overcome This and You’ll Be Free

If your fears stop you from taking a step that could be beneficial to you, then you are a slave to your fears.

You might have grown comfortable with your fears being with you.  They might stop you repeatedly, and you’re used to that pattern.  That’s conditioning.

Know that if you’re dealing with this, you can break this pattern at any time.  Continue stretch and expand by going into the unknown.

One thing I’ve noticed about going into that scared shitless place is that the first time is when you feel the most fear, then it gets less and less as you go on.

Your job is to face it so many times it dissolves into a mild tension.  Then you start getting used to feeling the fear and acting with it.  Playing with it and having fun instead of resisting it.

Keep The Same Energy Online As You Do Offline 150 150 admin

Keep The Same Energy Online As You Do Offline

Are you authentic with your feedback and criticism?  Is authenticity across-the-board something you value? Do you communicate with people online like you do offline?

The internet can be dark…why?  Because communication doesn’t have to be tied in with your identity.  The words you say don’t have to be tied in with your physical body, your government name, etc.  People have “burner” accounts and different fake accounts where they can talk with reckless abandon and suffer no consequences.

Xbox Live comes to mind for me.  I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been called the “n-word” just from speaking on a game like Halo.  When me and friends would play multiplayer games and that happened, we would just laugh at how cowardly it was.  I’d say to myself “would they say this to me in real life?” – Hell nah.

I see meme’s people create from famous people’s pictures…I will laugh, but it also makes me cringe at the person doing it.  Would you use that person’s image and profile if you knew them personally…in real life?  Probably not.

If character qualities such as authenticity and integrity are important, then it’s also important to keep the same energy online as you do offline.