Close
Enter your
text here

Challenges

The Counterintuitive Solution to “Poor Me” 150 150 admin

The Counterintuitive Solution to “Poor Me”

Sometimes there’s a life event or a series of life events that impact us in ways we perceive as negative which then might lead us to go into “poor me” thinking.

It’s where you’re feeling sorry for yourself and could lead to a big circle.  You keep looking at your life situation > you perceive it was negative > you feel powerless to change it how you want it> and feel even worse and the spiral downwards continues.

It feels like reality has violated your trust, and what happens when trust is eroded?  You might be hesitant to put yourself out there again to reality because they are afraid of being hurt again.

So then what happens?  Here is where you feel the need to contract.  You might feel like you need to isolate and protect yourself from reality’s trust violation.  You might feel like you need to hoard resources and information and keep to yourself, but the solution is counterintuitive.  The answer is to expand, get out of yourself and help others as much as you can.

What this will do is put your problems in perspective, and turn down the volume of your own problems.  When you’re in the midst of negative life situations, it can have a tendency to be right there in your face…taking up all your mental space.  You can easily compare and despair (comparing yourself to someone you perceive having a better life situation than you and feeling inferior/jealous/envious because of the comparison).  Helping someone seems to open the door to invite your own answers in.  You want / need coaching?  Coach someone else.  You want / need accountability?  Hold someone else accountable.  You need / want money?  Give money.

These counterintuitive solutions help you get back into flow with reality, and your relationship to this reality is of the utmost importance.

Just for Today 150 150 admin

Just for Today

This was taught to me in my food group, and I think it sums up how great goals are accomplished.

People would come in and see people who had lost excess weight and kept it off for years.  Not a product…not a sales pitch…actual people who were eating normal foods who once had a problem with their relationship to food.

Their advice was so similar.  It was some version of ‘just for today’ meaning do the right things today (eat the right foods at the right times during the day) and over time it all adds up…and it did.

I’ve actually used that so many places.  I don’t worry about the big goals.  The big goals take care of themselves once you get today in order and rinse and repeat.  It’s the habits over time that determine the quality of life.  Do the hard habits today…just for today…and life gets easier.

Unfu*k Yourself Book Review 150 150 admin

Unfu*k Yourself Book Review

I love this book!

Interesting how…the books I really like seem to either have cussing in the title or cussing in the actual book.

What I liked is that this is one of those tell-it-like-it-is, blunt and direct books.  It didn’t feel like a “feel-good” book, but it doesn’t beat you down either.  It helps you become aware of how much you beat yourself down and is really big on self-talk, and of course DOING.  It focuses on taking action despite what you’re thinking.

It also feels like one of those books I have to keep reading over and over to internalize the messages.  It’s a short read.  In Audible it took me a little over 3 hours to listen to.

When I say I “like” a book, usually I mean there’s a lot I resonate with and that is directly applicable to me.  Sometimes I might hear or read something in a book that stops me dead in my tracks because it hits so hard.  That’s a message I need to keep, because most likely I’ll be able to use it to progress and move forward.  It hits hard because it causes a shift in my thinking and this book had quite a few of those.

Some of the chapter titles alone should let you know what you’re in for:

  • “I Got This”
  • “I Embrace The Uncertainty”
  • “I Am Not My Thoughts, I Am What I Do”
  • “I Am Relentless”
  • “I Expect Nothing And Accept Everything”

Again, I know to internalize some of these messages that haven’t been internalized already it’s going to take some repetition hearing them and experiencing them.

Worry is Too Much Future 150 150 admin

Worry is Too Much Future

In times like these, a normal reaction is to panic or worry but…

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and
not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms
of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” – Eckhart Tolle

This does not mean we sit on our hands and breathe deeply and meditate while things collapse around us.  It means we can be here and now and take effective action.  We can find the truth, connect with our sense of love for what is and use the power that is within us individually to take effective action collectively.

 

 

Two Coronavirus Videos 150 150 admin

Two Coronavirus Videos

Coronavirus-free living is badass.  I’ve seen so many people have opinions on this subject, but I think it’s in our best interest to listen to those who have committed to studying this at higher levels.  It’s also in our best interest to approach this consciously and always strive for the truth.  I really love the energy and great information presented in these two videos.  Keep in mind, the first video is a snippet of a larger Joe Rogan podcast.

There is information on what to do here and now, but the central, long-term message I took from both of these videos? -> Stay ready so you won’t have to get ready.

If there are more resources you deem valuable, please list them in the comments!

 

 

Lessons from the Animal Kingdom 150 150 admin

Lessons from the Animal Kingdom

I have seen so many animal documentaries it’s crazy.

Savage

I’m gonna say crocodiles are the most savage because of the way they eat, but next might be lions.

To see how male lions look to take over prides and end up killing the young cubs of existing prides…

To see how the young animals often are the victims because they are the most vulnerable…

To see how many animals get eaten alive…

is a reminder of how unapologetic nature / evolution / the animal kingdom can be.

Imagine you’re just walking…and a bird comes and snatches you up and takes you to be eaten by its offspring.

We (humans) interfere a lot

Animals already are dealt a pretty rough hand.  We don’t make it any better with hunting, pollution, poaching, building on their homes, and the absurd amount of animal products we eat each year.  We do offset that a little by helping with conservation sites, vets, recycling.

Correlations between humans and animals

With males, there’s usually an order in who eats first, who leads, who gets to reproduce.  I used to hate the social / status structure of a pyramid, but I see it so much it makes me think it’s just a structure that happens naturally.  A lot more people can follow than lead, so that just lends itself to have fewer leaders at the top than at the bottom.

I also notice most of the mothers’ thought goes into her offspring.  You might be saying “duh”, but I think it’s interesting to see the maternal instincts of some of these animals.

That’s it for now.  If I think of something else, I’ll add it here.

Does High Quantity Lessen Quality with Creative Work? 150 150 admin

Does High Quantity Lessen Quality with Creative Work?

A concern with a lot of quantity with creative work is…will the quality go down?  I saw this question posed by someone at the beginning of Steve Pavlina’s 365-day blogging challenge.  Since I’m participating as well, I actually wondered the same thing.

I’ve experienced quite the opposite in this 365-day blogging challenge.  I’m really proud of some articles that I’ve written, but I know they wouldn’t have happened without all the other articles I’ve written that I roll my eyes at.  It’s as if quality comes from quantity.   You have to get in the reps to realize the quality and see the results.

It reminds of something I read today about song writing, but one of my favorite song writers, John Mayer.

On the subject of writing good songs, John Mayer urges new writers not to worry too much about whether a song is good or bad when they are writing it. “Just write it,” he says. “The rule is: write bad songs, but write ’em. If you start writing bad songs, you start writing better songs, and then you start getting really good.

“If you try to get into the building on the twelfth floor, you’ll never make it. You have to get in the basement floor and work up from there.”

Pushing Past Your Limit 150 150 admin

Pushing Past Your Limit

I remember in high school I wanted to try football.  I did well academically, but always wanted to test myself to see if I could have some semblance of athleticism in a bigger way than basketball in nearby parks.  So I took put football on my high school schedule.  It was off-season football, so it was mostly training for the upcoming season.

I sucked at the beginning.  Badly.  Struggled through most of their routine exercises, and lost all competitions.  I got hella embarrassed to the point where I started coming after school to practice and get help.

I remember having 1 completely crazy coach during that time that stood out.  He’d say some pretty ruthless things to people, and would often get a lot of pushback and backlash for what came out of his mouth.

One day, we went out to find out our lap times – how fast we could run one lap around the track which was a quarter mile.  When it was my turn, I might have gone about half way when I felt I couldn’t keep running, so I started walking.  Keep in mind I genuinely felt so tired, I didn’t think I could run anymore….until…

I see him with a super angry face, marching over to me.  He then proceeds to scream in my ear.  I was feeling so embarrassed.  I don’t know what he said…but I do remember running at that very instant again.

It was a pretty out-of-body experience.  Where did this energy come from to run?  I didn’t think I had anymore left in the tank, but apparently I did?  I remember running in a very surreal way…thinking “I’m not supposed to be doing this…but I am”.

I’ll never forget that day, because it was where I really felt like I could push past my limit.  All it took was a little embarrassment.  Who am I kidding?  It took a lot of damn embarrassment.

Pushing Past Your Limits 

Is there a limit you feel you have?  How can you enlist help to push past it?  Maybe you don’t need a crazy coach (or maybe you do?) but is there any way you can get a coach or a mentor to hold your feet to the fire?

You feel differently about yourself after you push past a limit you had in your mind.  It changes how you view yourself, and it’s a damn good feeling.