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How to lose weight when you can’t exercise 150 150 admin

How to lose weight when you can’t exercise

Knowing that I could lose weight without exercising really opened my eyes to what was causing the weight gain and how much of it had to do with nutrition – (A LOT if not all).

It made me wonder why I wasn’t taught this? I feel like…if there’s an instruction manual on the basics of being a human being…how to eat should be somewhere close to the front of this manual – and definitely not left out totally.

It also made me wonder how many people were unaware of how easy it is.

I was going in a complete wrong direction focusing on discipline and beating myself up for not being disciplined. I would try to force things. “I will not eat _____ anymore! I am going to eat healthy this year!” All hype, no results.

I found my answer going social. Like…real in-person meetings with people who had solved this problem. It was the second time I had solved a problem socially.

There are so many benefits to exercise. I’m amping it up this year, so I value it so much. For most, it’s just not necessary for losing fat from your body. This can be solved at the level of nutrition. 3 meals a day. Lots of vegetables per meal (1.5 lbs of veggies a day). Low to no sugar and flour (if you’re me, then no sugar or flour products!). No snacks, but sufficient meals. No late night meals past 7:00PM.

Think habits. Think long term. Think of solving this problem at a habitual level that you do for one day, then repeat.

I’m being pretty vague here, because I don’t want to tell you exactly how I solved it – partially because I’ve gained the weight back after losing it. This has been due to work and career, so I’m learning that. But losing it did show me it’s not as hard as I thought. And I’m also pretty vague because if I tell you exactly, I rob you of the opportunity to solve this problem socially. Talking with many people who have gone further down this journey is so worth it. They can eliminate your sticking points. They can inspire you and get you over your self doubt.

This is so possible for you. Don’t go at it alone. Enlist all the help you can and focus more on health than weight loss. In fact, during this time of losing all this weight, we were only to look at the scale once a month. Weight loss (or weight maintenance if you reach your desired weight) is the by-product of healthy habits. Healthy habits will serve your for a lifetime!

Fat Acceptance: How to Challenge Negative Attitudes and Stereotypes About Fat People 150 150 admin

Fat Acceptance: How to Challenge Negative Attitudes and Stereotypes About Fat People

One insight I received after losing about 110 pounds (332lbs to 220lbs) is the constant thought “I’m fat”…that society drilled into me…was not true.

Before
After

I looked at my much smaller body and wondered where the weight had gone. Did it evaporate? Was is still physical matter somehow? Could I go and visit it somewhere?

I also realized that no matter how big or small I was, I was not my body…because if I was my body then a part of me would leave when I lost weight. I didn’t feel like any part of me left though when I lost weight, so I could not be my body.

A more accurate statement is…I am a steward of a physical body that is fat. If I say I’m fat – then I merge me with my physical body. While they are connected, they aren’t the same.

I have been placed with the responsibility to be a steward of my physical body. Some people do a better job of being a steward than others, but “I’m fat” cannot be accurate because it would mean the “I am” is my physical body and that’s not true.

It’s similar to the insight Eckhart Tolle had when he had the thought “I can’t live with myself”. This was the moment things began to change for him, because he realized that if he couldn’t live with himself, there had to be two separate entities for that thought to be accurate.

I’m stupid, I’m scared, I’m confident, I’m sleepy are also technically inaccurate too. I’m stupid indicates you are your intelligence. I’m confident and I’m sleepy indicate you are your state of being. All not true.

You might say “hey…I’m not anything specifically…I’m a combination of many things” or “I am all those things in totality”.

Let’s say you have a person named Bill. People think of Bill as a tall, fat, loud, annoying human being. But is he really? or are these just labels we’ve used to identify him in our minds.

Just something to think about on this New Years Day…and know that all these labels are just that…labels – not who you truly are. And hey, while you’re not your body, you ARE a steward of your body, and it’s in everyone’s best interest that you take the best care of it you can.

I feel like “blah” 150 150 admin

I feel like “blah”

I remember telling my 12-step program sponsor one day (who I talked to every day at 6:30 AM) that I was feeling apathetic. It was like this “blah” feeling about life. Things were going well, pretty much all around the board, but I was feeling very empty and disinterested. She said something that was a shift in how I view being apathetic.

Up until that point I thought apathy was the absence of feelings. Even the definition lends itself to that way of thinking.

The dictionary defines apathy as lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

But she told me, “maybe you’re feeling and thinking so much that you’re overwhelmed”.

That was actually an answer that felt very right! Viola! It was like I overloaded the system mentally and emotionally. I remember I had a lot going on at that time as well. Good things, but just many responsibilities and moving parts to pay attention to.

If that “blah” feeling was an absence of feelings, like I initially thought, then that would have actually been a great thing. It’s like a meditative state. Like 0. You’re in an open state for things to come through you, and for you to be the watcher, watching them flow through you.

Have you been feeling “blah” about life? Maybe it’s just overwhelm. Try some meditation (turning your mind off for a bit). I’m not saying that apathy = overwhelm…I am saying that it’s another perspective, another lens to look through.

365-day Challenges are Badass? 150 150 admin

365-day Challenges are Badass?

I don’t fuckin know wtf. I’ve never done this before. This is scary as hell!

Again…WTF

BUT I will be posting every day here for 365 days (every day of 2020)! I will publish text, audio and video here every day. I would like to be a more consistent character overall, and I feel like this will help me with consistency and inspired action across the board. The point is to turn the volume up on consitent creative output and inspired action to weave creativity, inspiration and consistency into my character.

Biggest fear? I’m afraid I’m going to forget a day honestly. I think I can overcome that if I post right when I think about it and suppress the suppression.

Speaking of supressing suppression – to give credit where credit is due, the whole idea to do this was inspired by this post on Creating a More Action-Oriented Character.

Jump in with me! The water is fine! Would you like to stretch yourself in the area of creative output? I would definitely recommend sharing as much as you can…because sharing is caring right? Lemme know in the comments! ?

Social Skills are Badass 300 388 admin

Social Skills are Badass

Social skills are badass and having a badass social circle is badass.

  • Problems get solved way easier
  • Relationships overall are a big factor in the quality of life
  • A great social circle can pick you up quickly when you’re down
  • Giving to a social circle that appreciates the real you can be fulfilling and rewarding
  • You are the average of the 5 people you hang around most
  • A great social circle naturally encourages you to be your fullest, authentic self
  • Many of the answers you seek will come from people in some form or fashion. (In-person, book, program, podcast, blog, video etc).

I didn’t always start off with a great social circle. I isolated a lot and spent lots of time alone. I didn’t even see this as a bad thing, but I look back and realize there were so many missed opportunities. I always wondered in the back of my mind how other people created these huge social circles, and why some people attracted other people to them naturally and others repelled other people.

Click below to download a Mind Map I created on how to go from isolation or a social circle that doesn’t really fit you, to one that empowers you and fits you like a glove!

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Airbnb is Badass 150 150 admin

Airbnb is Badass

You don’t like where you’re staying? or ya just wanna get away?

Well…isn’t choosing a destination a step closer to actually getting away?

If you think to yourself “I wanna stay in another place”, or “I want to live in another place!” wouldn’t it be one step closer if you know the city you want to stay in? Wouldn’t it be more concrete and easier to lock on to if you knew how much it cost and you have pictures of where you’d be living?

This is what I like about Airbnb.

View On Airbnb

Tell me this listing above ain’t badass. There’s actually a ‘Tour this home’ button for some spaces, and it’s cool to just picture yourself walking through these crazy spots.

This is the most excited I’ve been in a while! I have a goal to live in a another area this year, but that’s so fuzzy, and by actually just browsing I found some badass spots! Airbnb didn’t get badass until I set the cost filter to minimum $645 per night over here in Dallas. The average was $135…but you get average, and I’m used to spending just under average! In fact, my first time, I stayed in a hostel for $25/night in California… and I got what I paid for – very crowded place to stay but amazing location.

In some areas smaller amounts go a waaaay longer way.

View On AirbnbWhite Breeze Pool 1BD Apartment

Look at that listing in Thailand! At the time of this writing it’s $55 per night! Yo come on!

Whatever you do, don’t just dismiss your desires because it would be a stretch to get there. That’s the easy way out. Instead of looking at one of these badass spots and saying some version of “I can’t because…” say “how can I”? That’s a more creative question that involves some more effort from you…but you will not regret that you stretched yourself here…and Giving 100 percent effort is badass too! 😉

Giving Without Expecting Anything Back Is Badass 150 150 admin

Giving Without Expecting Anything Back Is Badass

Whenever I think of creating something badass, I always think two things – how can I get other people involved and what can I give first. I don’t focus on money at all, and it always shows up. Pat Flynn actually inspired me to turn this up a notch – To really focus on giving something high value away free and don’t be attached to outcomes. Turns out there is a damn law about this – The law of detachment!

YouGotDunkedOn.com

I first experimented with this new way of thinking with my first blog yougotdunkedon.com

It was just a challenge to myself to see how I would do building a blog. I used this article to start, but I had no idea of what to blog about. Around that time I was browsing through different people’s Photobucket accounts and I saw one full of people getting dunked on, and I thought it was awesome – and it became a blog idea. I found out where the photos came from and realized they posted photos of NBA games every day, so there’d always be a stream of content.

So I would post those photos on my blog and go to Youtube to try to find a video that matched it. I did this for a while and nothing happened. I was on a forum and I would have my blog linked when I posted on a forum and occasionally I would get messages like “this site is great!”. Those kept me going when I felt nothing was really happening and barely anyone was visiting.

Then I started reaching out to other sports blogs that actually had activity – comments / traffic / high page ranks. I explained my situation to them and asked how they got their websites off the ground. It didn’t take long before someone responded. His advice to me was to email other sports bloggers to build relationships and see if they wanted to exchange links, so I did. I emailed 80 others sports blogs and about 20 linked back – including Yahoo’s basketball blog Ball Don’t Lie.

Well…that made it rank high in the search engines. Traffic went up and eventually an advertiser offered me a deal to have his website banner on YouGotDunkedOn.com in exchange for some money. This blew my mind. I had actually made money like this? It made some appearances on TV which also blew my mind (traffic spiked way up those days).

Apartments

This was a time stuck in my memory where I saw giving really work wonders.

Me and 3 other friends who were roommates decided to go out to the apartment’s pool. We had just moved in, and one of my friends had an idea to just go out to the pool with a big cooler full of cold beer. When we did this we met so many people in those apartments. That was a wild night, but a great memory. Then we exchanged numbers and partied together later again with lots of those residents and went over each others houses and had many more great experiences after that. All because we put ourselves out there at the pool and also gave out those beers without expecting anything back.

Amazon Self Publishing

When I wanted to start my self publishing business, one strategy was to give away a free book in exchange for readers signing up on my email list. This worked really well. I’ve given away the same freebie book for years and continue to give my books away for free. I’ve given them all away for free at some point, and they all bring in a little money every month still. I’ve actually consciously put this on pause, but if I wanted it to continue to grow, my first step would be to give away more for free ironically.

Addiction and Recovery

Stepping in a 12-step program for food addiction was one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’ve learned lessons that I’ll always use. One is prioritizing service. I would (and still do) talk to a sponsor every morning. Sometimes I would tell him/her I was feeling pretty down or sad or angry. They would usually tell me to think about what I had to be grateful for…get out of “poor me” thinking and find a way to serve so that I can get out of my own head, put things in perspective and help someone else. I find the more I give in these rooms of recovery, the more I get back – but I don’t concern myself with getting back! I try to just prioritize giving the gift that was graciously given to me.

Giving without being attached to outcomes

It’s taken me a while to learn, and it’s so counterintuitive when you’re feeling scarce and not getting your needs met, but the more I explore just giving without expecting anything, the more things just work!

Giving works great in social situations. Giving works great in business and finances. It works great in intimate relationships.

Have you been having “poor me” thinking? Feeling sorry for yourself? Serve – It might feel very weird….there might be hella resistance to doing it…Ya might just not want to do it…but another thing my sponsor used to tell me is “sometimes the thing we don’t want to do is the thing we need to do the most”. I’ll leave ya with that.

 

Real Conversations Are Badass 150 150 admin

Real Conversations Are Badass

I’ve had enough small talk to last a lifetime. If your life is full of small talk – or just conversations that leave you rolling your eyes – I feel for you! It really makes me appreciate the depth, openness and authenticity present today.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to work pretty boring, repetitive jobs that were full of pointless conversations. Here’s a sample conversation we’d have:

Random stranger to me: Hello, how are you?

Me: Pretty good, how are you doing!?

Random stranger: Doing good today, weathers nice out! Traffic is crazy as usual.

What a perfect setup for a conversation that will go nowhere!

In my head I’d be thinkin…Mufucka – who gives a damn about the weather? Traffic wtf? WE COULD DIE TOMORROW AND HERE YOU ARE..YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT SOME COT DAMN TRAFFIC?!!

Back then, I was pretty fake too. You see in the conversation above, I asked how this stranger was doing, but I didn’t genuinely care. It was just another an automatic response in a sea of automatic responses we called a job.

Saying the things I was really thinking would have probably cost me the job. Looking back, I guess I didn’t see all the other options I had. I wouldn’t have ever worked in a place that required me to sacrifice that much of myself.

Truth is, that we didn’t have time for much depth. This might be an elevator conversation, and we’ve both got to get to work in different departments, so the situation would often dictate the depth.

How to Have Real Conversations

I went to Conscious Life Workshop held by Steve Pavlina in October 2016 and this is where I first got a glimpse into real conversations. It was where I really saw the problem with my conversations before. The problem necessarily wasn’t with my conversations – it was with the people I was having real conversations with.

If you aren’t have as many real conversations as you’d like, how would people respond to you being more real? Would they be shocked? Would they be indifferent? Would they look at you like you’re crazy? Would they judge you? Do you have an idea of how they would react? Even if they’re family and friends, there is a real possibility they might not be the best fit for ya. What if you actually sought out people that were more aligned with the real you?

I’ve accepted some people just aren’t aligned with me being the real me. Do they like spanking? Are they into personal development? Are they into passive income? Are the into aligning with a path with heart? Do they sense that boring jobs aren’t the best way for them to generate income? Do they experiment? Do they spend a lot of time around tech? Have they had an addiction? Have they sought recovery for this addiction? Do they prioritize doing badass shit? Do they exercise their creativity? Do they still prioritize learning? Do they listen to audiobooks? Do they like playing an instrument? Do they like singing? If not – they probably aren’t aligned with my real conversations, so it’s in my best interest to find people that are into those things. The more the better! That way I can have genuine conversations. I can let my guard down. I can be vulnerable and share my shames, weird quirks and vulnerability and feel like it’s a safe place with others who are doing the same. I can be myself and things just flow. The more you express the real you, the more those people will find you! Imagine having lots of real conversations with lots of real people! Like attracts like!

I’ve tried to have real conversations with the people that didn’t align with me – for a long time. Family, friends, coworkers you name it. This is why it was such a contrast when I found way more aligned people for me. I’ve also learned to not be attached to how the real conversations show up. They might be with someone from another part of the world!

When I express my own vulnerabilities, strengths, weaknesses, talents, weird quirks, dark sides…when I express more of me it seems to give others permission to share more of themselves with me.

Is there an area of your life where you’d like to have more real conversations? Demand more authenticity in your life while expressing your own. Explore your own interests and curiosities socially, so you’ll get to talk to like-minded people. I think you’ll like what reality brings you!