If You Order From DoorDash…

Through Favor and DoorDash I’ve done almost 1200 deliveries combined…not to mention the extra deliveries family and friends request when they find out this is what you do.  If you order Door Dash or Uber Eats or Favor or any other P2P food delivery service follow these small tips to have a faster, smoother and cleaner delivery experience:

  • Be able to tell me how to get in your gate.
    • If you live in an apartment, please learn how to get in your own gate.  If you don’t know how to get in, then how can you expect me to?  If you don’t know how to get in your gate, please don’t order from any food delivery service until you can find out how or are willing to meet outside of the gate.  Yes, we can wait on other people to come or leave and go in behind them, but in most places that’s prohibited and we shouldn’t have to do it anyways.  It shows a total disrespect for our time.  I’m willing to bet that more often than not, you KNOW you don’t know how to get in your gate, you’re just hoping the driver can figure something out.  Please figure it out first.  Please.
    • I remember there was one time I pulled into an apartment (not realizing it was an apartment when the order first showed up).  I called the customer to ask how to get in the gate, and she didn’t know.  So I’m at the dial pad stuck…There are cars that are behind me honking at me, there’s no space to turn around or go in the exit gate, and I’m pretty upset at this point.  She then says she’s going to send someone out to pick up the food.  After a while I see someone walk towards me with a slow, smooth bop in his step (if you’ve ever watched Bruh Man from the show Martin walk, that was the walk).  WHAT ARE YOU DOING DUDE?!?!  HURRY YOUR ASS UP MAN.  THIS AINT THE TIME TO BE TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL.
    • If you live in a gated community, please let the person at the front know who I am and/or that you’re expecting a delivery.  Many times I feel like I’m crossing a border with all the identification I have to provide to them for delivering your smoothie from Sonic.  Name, license plate number, license, passport, social security, birth corticate, actual mom that birthed me, etc.
  • Give detailed directions 
    • I’m tired of driving around your horribly lit apartments at night looking for your building number.  Then I look to your directions for some semblance of guidance…it says “thanks!” or “I’m in the back”.  You only have to give the directions once.  Come on yo!
  • Put your animals away
    • Through many deliveries I’ve noticed quite a few things about the dynamic between you and your pets:
      • Your pets don’t listen to you.  As well as you think you have them trained, when you talk they pretty much ignore you…at least while I’m there.  “BACK! GET BACK! SIT!”  I see you squeeze through the door trying not to let the dog out.  The dog completely ignores this weak ass request, euro-steps you and starts sniffing me.  Then I hear you say something I don’t think any delivery driver wants to hear – “oh he don’t worry, he doesn’t bite!”.  How do you know this animal is going to do?  You can tell me what he probably will do.  You can tell me what he has or hasn’t done in the past.  You can’t tell what he’s going to do in the future.  I don’t want to hear it, and please stop saying it.  If he’s a dog with teeth, I’m going to assume he bites.
      • Some of you are way too damn intimate with your pets.  I don’t want the type of intimacy with your pets that you might have.  I don’t want your pets licking, sniffing, or biting me.  I just want to deliver the food and leave.
  • Give me the right address
    • I know.  Everyone makes mistakes, and granted this has only happened like 3 times to me, but this really is a bad one to make…the worst.  When you put the wrong address a driver either ends up looking for an address that doesn’t exist or delivering to a person that isn’t expecting an order.  I actually had a customer who didn’t speak must English at all and didn’t know her real address.  The address she gave me didn’t exist, and when I called her for directions, all she kept saying was that her place was “by the trees” *insert blank stare emoji here*.  There were literally trees everywhere.  Needless to say this food took forever to deliver, and of course I got the negative rating.  This could have all been avoided if she knew her own address BEFORE she requested someone deliver food to her.

Help me, and other delivery drivers help you.  Help us get you your food faster.

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