social

Global is Badass 150 150 admin

Global is Badass

How many people (and how often) do you connect with people outside of your city?  Outside of your state/province?  Outside of your country?  Outside of your continent?

It makes me smile when I hear someone’s accent when they’re speaking english.  It’s just a reminder to me that I have friends and connections all over the world, and that’s fuckin cool to a local Texas guy like me.

It reminds me that I’m not just a Texan, but I’m a human – and humans are all over the world.  Having connections – any connections – from around the world gives me a world pulse.  Especially if I talk with someone residing in another part of the world one-on-one vs. hearing about events on the news or through social media.  It makes me feel more connected to that place.

I will say thank you to the internet for this!  I connect with people outside of Texas, outside of the United States a lot through Zoom or forums or Whatsapp or some online platform.

Today it’s easier than ever to connect with people globally.  Tell someone thank you on social media!  Engage in an online conversation.  Join a Facebook group.  Learn different languages and travel to new countries (I’m talking to myself here too!).

I think the biggest thing you start to see is that…though we’re from different cultures and unique, we are all very much alike.  Also, you open yourself up to very different ways of thinking about the same problems.  You gain access to a wider variety of perspectives.

Connecting globally is officially badass.

Level-Up Moments 150 150 admin

Level-Up Moments

Have you had moments where you felt like your life really leveled up?  Are there any patterns you see in these moments?

For every level-up moment I’ve experienced, I can trace it back to something I embraced that was new for me.  Also, through taking in new input, it helped me see old things with a new perspective.

A Few Level Up Moments

For example, a moment when I leveled up socially was during a workshop.  I had been trying to solve this problem of making money in an inspiring, heart-centered way all alone.  This wasn’t working.  Instantly after meeting people who were making a living in a heart-centered way and connecting dots, things started shifting quickly in a positive direction.  I started making passive income every month after my first book was published 3 years ago (right after the workshop) and still continue to make a liiiiiiitle every month now.  This changed how I looked at finances.  I had been serving a company to earn money before…and that means I served one entity.  But with the book I published lots of people benefitted – in a smaller way, but the volume of people I served was waaaay larger and I loved a lot more of the process. From then on I saw how the solution to this problem was more of a social problem than a how-to, step-by-step, information / mental problem.  It made me look at the old way of doing things with a new perspective.

Another level up moment is when I joined a 12-step program, and left a lot of my life up to my sponsor.  It was beautiful.  From the moment I got the sponsor, health wise and weight-wise my life was better.  I ended up losing 110 lbs from that moment.  Again…the answer for me was social.  They told me exactly what to eat and when and how to satisfy my hunger to be able to sustain it to lose weight and have a normal-sized body.

I had to embrace spending $500 on a workshop and traveling to Las Vegas. I had never spent that much money on a workshop and never traveled to Las Vegas.  That was new for me.  I had to embrace joining a 12-step program (I actually didn’t know it was a 12-step program before joining) and having a sponsor who told me what to do.  That was new as hell!

Now I’ve seem to come to a place where I’m being called to embrace more input.  Even with this blog…it’s not receiving much traffic now, but i know the steps to get it off the ground because I’ve repeatedly gotten things off the ground before.  It feels like I’m being called to get more of my work/art/ideas etc into more people’s hands, to put it out there in a much bigger way, and invite more feedback and be able to handle and process it consistently.  That will be new for me in so many areas.  It requires me to face many fears, but it seems unavoidable if I want to take my life in a direction where I want to make my living through creative expression.  It is feeling like one of those level up moments.

Back to You

What is calling you?  Is there something in your life that you want to level up?  Embrace the new as much as possible to spark a level-up moment!  New experiences or new travel destinations or new vacations or new workshops or restaurants or new habits or new trials or new input or new physical exercise or new groups to join or create.

You might find old, mental conditioning rising up in your mind to enhance your doubts and fears, but suspend the disbelief for a while.  Don’t block the energy that is leading you to new.  Follow the breadcrumbs, stay curious and follow the energy where it wants to flow on step at a time.  Keep consulting with the present moment and allow the next right action step to come through.

Going With The Flow vs Creating The Flow 150 150 admin

Going With The Flow vs Creating The Flow

In social situations, you’ll be presented with the opportunity to direct things sometimes and the opportunity to go along with the current.  I think there is skill to this, and as with anything the more you practice, the better.  The more you practice being in conversations with different groups of people, the better feel you’ll have for this.

If you were to look at my life, I probably have much more experience on the “going with the flow” side.  There can be problems if you only know this side though.  If you go with others flows that you know aren’t going to lead you where you want to go, then you end up having a pattern of being unhappy and complaining.

Too much going with the flow and you’ll feel like there’s not enough “you” in what you do.  You’ll go with other’s flow but not your own, and you are unique.  There are aspects about you that are unique and that call for you to do more creating flow.

When I say flow, I mean anything that flows.  For example…are your finances flowing the way you’d like?  What flow are you going with there?  Did someone else create that flow for you? (for example a job)?  Do you like where that direction is going? If not, you have the ability to change the flow and to learn to create your own flow.

Are you finding your conversations aren’t flowing in directions you’d like?  Who’s creating those conversations?  Are you just going along with dull conversations that offer no value?  Possibly gossip or complaining or blaming?  Who’s responsibility is it to create a different flow in your conversations?

Swing the pendulum towards creating more flow.  I think you’ll be surprised at what happens!

Heaven On Earth 575 300 admin

Heaven On Earth

I can’t tell you what your heaven is or when it is going to come or how it will look.  However, I can tell you that you will know when it does.

You would think that it’s some instance where you’re pleasured out.  Where you’re experiencing all these different pleasures you think you want…but that’s not how heaven showed up for me.

The instance for me happened when I was at a spanking party.  I looked around…stunned…and I asked myself, “could life really be this amazing?”.  At that moment it literally felt like heaven on Earth.  And get this – I was living in my car!

It wasn’t just that moment that inspired that feeling of heaven on Earth.  Imagine a cup…and all the previous insights and experiences I had within the past 2 years had been adding water to that cup.  Before attending that party, the cup was about 3/4ths full.  Then when I went to my first spanking party, the cup just started overflowing with water.  That’s what it was like.  That cup poured over to Solving Problems Socially.  I was feeling so great, I felt other people had to experience this, and that I could help them get there because I had been on the opposite side.

Heaven came from finding members of my real family.  Not members who were biologically / genetically / blood line family, but people from all over the world who aligned with deep parts of me. I met people who aligned with the part of me that wanted to do heart-centered work and make it sustainable.  I met with people who had addictions and issues with food and/or weight gains/losses. I met people who were deeply into spanking.  These parts of me were previously suppressed and when they started to be expressed then I found my new, aligned family members.  What I’m working on now is being a good container for that heaven.

What are you suppressing that needs to be expressed?  When will you express it?  What if you knew the part of you that you suppress needed to be shared…like it was your purpose to share it.  And to help other people express it to!  What if…the expression of the parts of you that you normally suppress is a prerequisite or a key to unlock connection with your true family.  Family that has been through what you have been suppressing and can help you along the journey.  Family that can offer you support and answers and can relate.  Family that can bring whatever it is you’re suppressing out of you to express fully.

You can feel heaven on earth now.  You don’t need the outside to match it at this moment, but you can use your imagination and feel what it would be like to have all the deep parts of you supported, acknowledged and encouraged.  Feel that feeling with as much intensity as you can.  The more you feel this feeling and think about it on the inside, the more your reality must shift to match it on the outside.

Social Expansion Online vs Offline 150 150 admin

Social Expansion Online vs Offline

There are many differences is connecting with people online vs offline, but one of the ways they are the same is you have to put yourself out there online and/or offline to expand your social circle.

Putting yourself out there…your ideas…your creations…your voice…your face…your presence out there is where they overlap.

Along the same lines, giving away value for free seems to work well in both online and offline such as volunteering, or giving constructive feedback to those who are willing to listen.  Online one form of giving away value for free is a lead magnet.  Offline in day-to-day life, it’s not called a lead magnet, but the concept is eerily similar.  See this post for more on the subject!

I see starting a business and getting it off the ground the same way – online and offline.  Many times, marketing is the issue both online and offline.  How much are you putting yourself out there online and offline?

Putting yourself out there is the big overlap between social expansion offline and social expansion online!

Feel The Embarrassment to Help 150 150 admin

Feel The Embarrassment to Help

Embarrassment is commonly looked at as something to be avoided. When you share embarrassing stories, there’s a possibility people can take those stories and keep them and have a “one up” on you.  I’ve seen people be vulnerable enough to share their embarrassing stories, only to have someone else bring their embarrassing story back up to bring them down a notch.  This is cheap.  It’s tacky.  And what that person who brings it back up doesn’t realize is how tacky and cheap they look doing it.  It says more about them (the person that uses it to bring them down).

When I started sharing my story in my 12-step program, it made me not care so much about situations like the one mentioned above or anything else negative that can come from being embarrassed or sharing embarrassing stories.  I saw the meaning in my embarrassment when people would connect with me after I shared, and call me on the phone. I saw how it changed the people around me for the good.  If nothing else, it raised awareness. My sponsor would tell me “just remember…it’s not about you”.  It was about a person I could help.  I saw the importance of helping just one person.  That person can create some huge ripples…and you never know who it will be.

Share your failures.  Share the things that don’t put you in such a great light.  Share your embarrassing stories.  Be willing to be publicly embarrassed.  You’ll be surprised at the people who are watching to learn and grow and raise their awareness.  I think you’ll also be surprised at the different ways it can raise you up as well.

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle 150 150 admin

Another Way to Think About Expanding Your Social Circle

I never thought about expanding my social circle in terms of one friend at a time.  I spent much of my time alone, but after that, I asked “what world can I get into?”, and that was a lot more effective in making friends.  As in…what world do I want to learn about?  That way I can possibly connect with many people who could be friends.  If I want to get into dancing, there’s probably a lot of dancers I could have as friends if I start going to the tutorials, lessons, dance sessions, performances, etc.

What about the world of music?  Think about the friends you could make there.  You could have pianists, singers, piano teachers, drummers, audio tech guys/gals, Tamborine players..who knows!

The possibilities are endless.  This is how I think about social circles now – how will I dive into my interests and meet like-minded people so we can talk about our common interests and keep getting better…and attracting more people into these worlds.  I find the deeper I can get into a certain world, and the more I can commit…the better things get.  This comes from caring!  and when ya genuinely care…you get the deeper connections.

Keep doing this and you have friends in different worlds and there can be some overlap…or a lot of overlap depending on the worlds.

When to Change Your Social Circle 150 150 admin

When to Change Your Social Circle

Think about the people in real life you spend the most time with now.

If you find that your social circle always wants to debate or argue with you…

If you feel like you always have to defend your point of view…

If you feel like you’re being excessively made fun of…

If you feel annoyed them them consistently…

If you feel like you’re being drained by these people…

if you find you’re rolling your eyes in annoyance of these people…

If you find your focus is being pulled towards them and their needs too much…

If you find that they bring you down vs lift you up…

If you feel like you’ve outgrown their conversations…

if you feel like it’s a lose-win (you lose, they win) or a lose-lose (ya both lose) relationship…

Then maybe you should find a new social group of people to hang out with.  Possibly, spend some time alone.  Either way disconnect with this social circle that’s bringing you down.

If it’s not the whole social circle (maybe just a few people), disconnect with just those people who are bringing you down.  There is a lot of energy that goes into tolerance of a not-so-hot social circle.  When you align your social circle with your values, you won’t want to go back to tolerance.  Tolerance is resistance to love.