Over the years I’ve come across many counterintuitive solutions. These solutions when I seek help from other people who have overcome the same problem and get out of my own thinking or I let go of finding the answer completely and move on to something else and then the answer just shows up. When I find these answers they hit me like a ton of bricks and leave me stunned…like this 🤯
Here are the solutions I’ve found.
I remember wanting to learn how to lose weight and just failing by focusing on weight loss. Eventually, I just let go of the whole idea of trying to lose weight and I started focusing on health. That’s when I found out about my food group and cut out sugar and flour and they actually taught me how to eat in a way where I could eat normal foods, was way happier, and kept losing weight in a way that felt effortless.
Intuitively I was overweight, so it made sense to focus on weight loss…that led me astray. Focusing on health was way more effective and ironically resulted in me losing the most weight I’ve ever lost.
Money and Work
I remember wanting to learn how to earn a lot of money. I wanted it sooo bad I was willing to take shitty jobs sacrifice everything else, work long hours of overtime. It didn’t help. My expenses rose to the level of my earnings and I was living paycheck to paycheck. Eventually, I decided I would stop chasing money and accept the freedom I had. It brought me face to face with the question – what would I do if I had all the money in the world. I would write and work on music, so I really put tons of hours into writing and working on music, and my bank account is as big as it’s ever been.
When I was broke, it made sense to focus on getting a job and earning money. Writing and sharing with people was my way of volunteering. It brought about more flow socially and connected me with more people and it was pretty damn rewarding. More rewarding than any check I ever got from a shitty job, and I think it was all because I didn’t chase money.
In the back of my mind, I would always see people who had big social circle and wonder how it happened for them. AND…how were people so interested in them.
Eventually, I realized that one great way to attract others is not need others – to be content with yourself. Do the things you want to do and find interesting. Follow your own curiosities. Accomplish the things you want to accomplish. Have fun. Stop beating yourself up over the past and learn to be happy with yourself. Forgive yourself for bad time and money investments. Practice self care and treat yourself well. Respect and enforce your boundaries and strive to meet your needs. That way you relate to others without neediness. You won’t need anything from others. People can feel that, and it’s attractive.
Intuitively, when I wanted a bigger social circle I thought that there was something I needed to do “out there”. I needed to meet more people. I needed to get out of the house more. Those things are great, but if you do those things you will have far greater rewards and results if you can learn to be content and happy with yourself first.
The Big Three
It’s been said that these are the big three in personal development. If you can get health, wealth, and relationships all working in-sync, then you’ll feel that flow of life and things will lean towards spiraling upwards.
Accomplishing Big Things
When I read Atomic Habits, it made me appreciate the small things. Small habits over time can lead to big accomplishments or big bombs that you have to deal with later.
I think it’s human nature to want to go to big accomplishments quickly. We want to be able to play and sing the beautiful song we hear right after we hear it. We want to have the great bodies we see others have instantly. We want to have success in our careers overnight.
Intuitively I want to jump right into having and accomplishing big things, but ironically they come from the small recurring habits over time.
Are there any counterintuitive solutions that have blown your mind?