What Do You Think About This?
This post is about ways people of authority can turn your volume down growing up as a kid.
If there are too many forces that turned the volume down on your voice, it can lead you to believe your thoughts and feelings aren’t important. Maybe it’s an older sibling that abused you. Or a parent that repeatedly told you to shut up. Or getting bullied or excessively teased. If this has happened to you, know that I, Broderick Durisseau, am sorry this was done to you, and I think you and your voice are important.
At one point, I felt my voice wasn’t important. Nobody cared. I moved in with a friend and he became someone I looked up to. While I was living with him, he kept asking me “what do you think about this?” and “what do you think about that?”. It was weird because up until that point, I felt my opinion didn’t matter. Nobody was asking me what I thought about anything. But I came around to the fact that my opinion was valued by him, and started becoming valued by his social circle. I then found many other people who valued my opinion. The solution was connecting with the right people. People more aligned with my own values. Turns out, we shared the value of intelligence. We both had a low tolerance for dumb, circular, pointless conversations that led nowhere or didn’t progress at all. I’m glad to have met him, and he really changed the trajectory of my life.
Make an effort to look for those like-minded people. People who are in greater alignment with your values. And if you’re feeling like you’re not being heard, play with the belief that someone needs to hear your unique voice. Someone needs to hear a message that only you were meant to give. Play with the belief that you and your opinion matter. People really want to know what you think, they just may not be the people in your immediate orbit or family or current social circle. Strive for greater alignment in the people you interact with from day to day.
When you find those right people, they will do the opposite of turning your volume down. They will encourage you to turn the volume of your character up and express the deepest, most unique parts of you. It helps you, it helps them, and ultimately helps us all.