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Sometimes there’s a life event or a series of life events that impact us in ways we perceive as negative which then might lead us to go into “poor me” thinking.

It’s where you’re feeling sorry for yourself and could lead to a big circle.  You keep looking at your life situation > you perceive it was negative > you feel powerless to change it how you want it> and feel even worse and the spiral downwards continues.

It feels like reality has violated your trust, and what happens when trust is eroded?  You might be hesitant to put yourself out there again to reality because they are afraid of being hurt again.

So then what happens?  Here is where you feel the need to contract.  You might feel like you need to isolate and protect yourself from reality’s trust violation.  You might feel like you need to hoard resources and information and keep to yourself, but the solution is counterintuitive.  The answer is to expand, get out of yourself and help others as much as you can.

What this will do is put your problems in perspective, and turn down the volume of your own problems.  When you’re in the midst of negative life situations, it can have a tendency to be right there in your face…taking up all your mental space.  You can easily compare and despair (comparing yourself to someone you perceive having a better life situation than you and feeling inferior/jealous/envious because of the comparison).  Helping someone seems to open the door to invite your own answers in.  You want / need coaching?  Coach someone else.  You want / need accountability?  Hold someone else accountable.  You need / want money?  Give money.

These counterintuitive solutions help you get back into flow with reality, and your relationship to this reality is of the utmost importance.

Category: Challenges, solutions

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